The Replacement Masters
by EtherealMutation
Summary: At age 21, Sora decides he wants to retire from heroics. With his traveling companion Riku, he trains a new keyblade master to take his place. Can an innocent bystander really take Sora's place? We shall see.
1. Heart of the Sunrise 0 Yes

**This story contains very little violence outside of the acceptable target of the Heartless, no swearing, and some subdued suggestive themes.**

**Sora, Riku, and Kairi are copyright Lucasfilm, Inc. All rights reserved.**

**Mickey, Donald, and Goofy are copyright Nickelodean. All rights reserved.**

**GLaDOS is copyright Valve Software. All rights reserved.**

**This author has the sincerest hope that no lawsuit will be taken for the use of the aforementioned copyrighted material or for any failure that comes about due to lack of research done on said characters.**

**Also, to the person that put me on the "marysues" community of LiveJournal... I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is a huge boost to my readership and I appreciate that you took the time to spread awareness of my stories (even though you thought it negative).** **Cheers.**

**Small aside: I heard my other story _The Adventures of Kiko Fluffy Pants_ is pretty good. I think it might be worth checking out.  
**

******ETA: I'm releasing the non-derivative elements of this story into the public domain. Do what you wish.**

* * *

Gather around, gather around, for a tale that knows no bounds. Tales of courage, tales of might, these-

"Oh, stop it with the horribly corny rhymes," said an off-camera figure.

...Right. This gentleman that interrupted me is Sora. You may know him as the chosen holder of the keyblade and the several time savior of the multiverse. He singlehandedly defeated fake Ansem, Xehanort, Organization XIII, dozens of huge Heartless-

"Yeah, yeah, on with it," responds Sora, sarcastically.

It's been nearly five years since the events of Kingdom Hearts II. Sora has fought tons more Heartless, rebalanced the scale of good versus evil several more times, and has thwarted the plans of dozens of villains ranging from the maniacal Dr. Reinhardt and his black hole device to Negaduck and his inner circle of thugs. He-

"Please."

Today is a special day for young Sora. It's his twenty first birthday, but unfortunately, he's quite far away from the Destiny Islands. His latest assignment brought him to Duckburg when they found out that Magica De Spell was commanding the Heartless to try and get Scrooge's lucky pen-

"Skip that part."

Right now, Sora and Riku are travelling on the Gummi Ship towards Cape Suzette. Sora is feeling rather down because he'd rather be spending his birthday with all his friends in the Destiny Islands, but at least Riku is here to give him company. Good old reliable Riku. He's no slouch, either, having successfully infiltrated the Heartless four more times and-

"I don't want to talk about any of that," said another off-camera figure.

That gentleman, as you can probably guess, is Riku. As you can tell, both of them are pretty jaded about being the chosen keyblade masters. He's not quite as upbeat as Sora, but he's very good at what he does. He could really lay off the darkness, though.

"It's not my fault I'm this way," responded Riku, indignantly.

So, as I was saying, Sora and Riku in the lounge of their Gummi Ship, en route to Cape Suze-

"Riku," says Sora, with a tone that suggested he had a potential idea.

"Yes, Sora?" responds his buddy.

"Have you thought about the future?" asked Sora.

"I try not to," answers Riku in a matter of fact way.

"Because I was thinking... do we really want to still be doing this when we're 60?" asks Sora, "Being a keyblade master was fun at first. I could travel all around the galaxy, meeting strange new people and having exciting adventures. The rush of this power was great, giving me magic powers and the ability to defy physics."

"Lucky you," responds Riku, dryly.

"But this is starting to get really boring. Nothing ever excites me any more. I'm not even afraid of dying, considering that even the couple times it has happened, I turned out all right. It's not even like anything poses a threat any more."

"I see what you mean."

"I got to thinking, though. We were just a couple teenagers when we started. What makes us so special?"

"Well, we have magic powers and can defy the laws of physics."

"An oversized duck has magic powers and an oversized mouse defies more laws of physics than we do."

"I don't think it's fair to discount Donald or King Mickey's abilities," says Riku, walking towards the fridge to get another cold one, "They have been very helpful to us."

"But what about all the worlds we visit?" asks Sora, reclining into the couch, "We just randomly meet people that can help us out immeasurably. A duck with a robot suit was mowing down just as many Heartless as we were."

"So?" says Riku, grabbing a bottle from the fridge, "None of them want to give up their lives so they can fight the forces of darkness."

"But you see how low the barrier of entry for this job is, right?"

"Whatever you say, Sora."

"What if we get some people to take our place?"

"Sure..." says Riku, taking a sip, "...wait, what?"

"Well, you see, I don't think it really matters that much who becomes the chosen keyblade wielder. What if we find and train a replacement?"

"That's crazy talk," says Riku as he nonchalantly plopped onto a couch.

"Remember that glyph we found at Babel Tower?"

"Oh, god, please don't remind me of that world," says Riku, closing his eyes and placing his fingers on his temples to try and avert a headache.

"But you remember it, right, Riku?"

"Yes, I do," responds Riku, looking annoyed.

"The glyph said that the keyblade can change users if we want it to. Have we ever wanted to?"

"No, the glyph didn't say that. It said something about Zohar transferring hosts, not keyblades."

"But the picture on it clearly showed a keyblade, remember?"

"No, it showed a squiggly stick figure holding a squiggly line with another squiggly line at the end of it. Why would that world care about the keyblades, anyway?"

"I still think that it was about us. We should try it," says Sora, sounding hopeful about his wild theory.

"...sure, but please understand that this is your _birthday present_," says Riku, in a tone that seems more appropriate for dealing with little kids.

"Thank you, Riku. I knew I could count on you. I'll meet you on the bridge." With that, Sora and Riku walk through the door at the other end of the room onto the bridge.

"Computer," Sora calls to the main screen.

"Yes, captain?" responded a smooth female voice.

"Cancel our trajectory to Cape Suzette," Sora says, firmly.

"But captain, King Mickey said that the Heartless were gathering there for-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," interrupted Sora, "They'll live. Take us to Zanarkand."

"Sora," Riku starts, "Zanarkand doesn't exist."

"Oh, right. That wasn't a good idea, anyway. What's a place with a lot of normal humans?" asks Sora.

"I think the closest would be Port Royal," Riku responds, "We just have to go to the mainland."

"Computer, take us to Port Royal," Sora says, large and in charge.

"The scanner shows zero Heartless activity there, sir," the computer responds, showing Port Royal's scan information on the screen.

"To Port Royal, computer. Use the hyperspace module and drop us off at a mainland city."

"At your command, sir." With a lurch, the ship spins vertically, positions itself, and enters hyperspace.


	2. Supermassive Black Hole 0 Muse

Within a short amount of time, the Gummi Ship appears within orbit of Port Royal. Sora and Riku are teleported into an alley in a British colony, where absolutely nothing strange was happening.

"Hear that?" Sora asks, sounding startled.

"What is it, Sora?" Riku responds, materializing his key blade and looking around.

"That's the sound of nothing happening," Sora says, giving a smug grin, "No Heartless harassing citizens, no brawl between rival factions, no explosions. Just the sound of normal people doing normal things."

"Not funny," Riku says, dematerializing his keyblade.

"Come on, let's go look around," Sora says, starting to head out of the alley. Almost immediately, people start staring at him as though he's some sort of freak.

"They think you look weird," Riku states, walking up behind Sora.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Sora asks rhetorically, "We stick out like sore thumbs. This place is perfect. Let's go get some local clothing." With that, they walk to the tailor, getting stared down by all the locals along the way. Within a few minutes, they have some dull grey wool garments that completely cover their bright technicolor outfits.

"Okay, now what, fearless leader?" Riku says, still sounding cynical about the whole thing.

"This is a decently public place," Sora starts, stopping by a street market, "Narrator, are you still there?"

Yes, I'm still alive.

"Pity. Okay, start describing people, please."

Sora and Riku are wearing these scratchy outfits that make them look overwei-

"No, the other people," snapped Sora.

A man emerges out of-

"Pass," Sora says, disinterested.

I didn't finish.

"We're not taking a man," Sora says in a matter of fact manner, "Men don't train well."

Look, this isn't modern day Japan. This is the 18th century Nowhereville on an island. You're not going to find any woman that wants to risk breaking her nails here, much less fighting the Heartless for years.

"And that's why it's perfect. Riku, did you want to start this lifestyle?" asks Sora to his companion.

"Considering I had to be consumed by the Heartless for it to begin, not really," Riku responds.

"And did I want to start this?" asks Sora.

"You always wanted to see other worlds," Riku starts, "But I don't think you wanted to fight evil along the way."

"See?" Sora says to the narrator, "Start describing women, please."

A woman exits the local butcher shop with a cart full of meat. She's a fairly short and plump wom-

"Pass."

Another woman is washing her clothing. As she whistles through the gap in her front teeth, she-

"Pass."

"This is already looking like a waste of time," Riku says, not trying to mask any of the cynicism.

"We're going to have to look at her for a long time," responds Sora, "I don't want anybody ugly."

"Whatever you say, Sora."

A shapely woman walks through the crowd, smiling as men give her second glances. She walks towards the tailor for her errand of getting a dress for her 12 year old daugh-

"Pass."

"What was wrong with that one?" Riku asks.

"She's either past her twenties or screwed up in the head. Either way, pass."

"I fail to see why someone in her thirties is wrong," Riku says, rolling his eyes.

"It's just not happening. Please continue, narrator."

Around the corner, a 5'6" girl in her mid teens with long, flowing purple hair done in four braids walks into view. Her eyes seem to sparkle as they change color, reflecting her mood with luminescent shades of green, blue, purple, and other radiant colors. As she walks down the street, she raises her delicate, thin, but quite strong hands to push aside all the men trying to get her attention away effortlessly by their foreheads. She then looks down to make sure that none of their drool has spoiled her perfect ensemble outfit of a vinyl azure vest over a navy blue lace top that accentuates her perfectly rounded 36 C cup breasts. She then looks down to her black miniskirt that shows off her perfect hips while maintaining her modesty. She-

"Sora," Riku says, getting in Sora's face. Sora moves to the side to continue gazing at this girl. Riku gets in the way again, prompting Sora to step around Riku. Riku sighs and grabs Sora's shoulder.

"What would Kairi say?" asks Riku.

"I thought she was your girlfriend?" Sora asks half-heartedly as he turns to Riku.

"No, I'm pretty sure she's your girlfriend," responds Riku.

"But that's the thing. She loves you and me and Mickey and Donald and Goofy and her Sketchers and-"

"I see what you mean," Riku admits.

"Seriously, if you look up platonic in the dictionary, her photo would be next to it."

"Is this why we're out here scoping attractive, unmarried women for 'training'?" asks Riku, impatiently.

"Konichiwaaaaa!" says the attractive young girl as she skipped merrily towards them with the grace of Ganesh.

"Oh, lord, one of those," Riku cynically says, turning away from her. As she reaches them, she wraps her long, slender arms around Riku in an embrace, rubbing her head on his back while smiling widely. Riku barely even flinches at this invasion of his personal space.

"I couldn't help but notice your friend looking at me," the girl says dreamily, her eyes a radiant blue that looked like two sparkling ponds contained within crystal orbs, "I'm so bishoujo, it's a curse."

"Hello, Miss-" starts Sora.

"Back off, baka Sora-chan!" the girl angrily interrupts, her eyes changing to a crimson red.

"Geez, I'm sorry," Sora apologizes, taking a step back, "How did you know my name?"

"I'm a witch," starts the girl, who has moved her focus back to the unresponsive Riku and starts giving him a shoulder massage, "I have all sorts of magical powers. I can see people's names, make food appear, blow up cities, and make any man fall to my whims."

"Uh-huh. Just keep telling yourself that," Riku says in a condescending tone.

"Aww, I know deep down you love me, Riku-kun," states the girl, who had her head perched on his shoulders as she gave him a hug with her eyes closed and an ear to ear grin on her face, rubbing her chin gently from side to side.

"No, I don't," Riku responds, same condescending tone as before.

"You're so kawaii, Riku-kun," responds the girl, just ignoring what he said. She then somehow gets even closer to whisper into his ear, "Please be gen-"

"What are you doing here on this planet?" Riku interrupts, derailing the line conversation before it goes too far.

"Oh, how rude of me," starts the girl, detaching herself from Riku (much to his relief), "I'm Azure Hauteclaire Momoko, but all my friends call me Ami."

"Nice to meet you, Ami," responds Sora.

"Baka! Baka, Sora-chan!" snaps Ami, making a hissing sound while holding her hands in front of her head in a cat-like manner. Sora takes another step back.

"Anyway, I've been training as a witch just like my parents used to be," Ami continues, "They got turned into Heartless when I was young, but even then, they still sacrificed themselves to keep me safe. I've dedicated my life to killing the Heartless. I learned how to transform into my alter ego, the Magical Ethereal Bishoujo Mikamika. I learned how to use the Corridors of Darkness to travel between the worlds and have been actively seeking out the mythical keyblade to assist me in my quest to cleanse the universe of the Heartless."

"Well, Ami, Riku and I have-" Sora starts.

"Baka yaro, Sora-chan! Shut up!"

"But Ami, I-"

"Omee tada no baka-mono da! Damare! Dete ike! Kono shiri-nuke-me!" With this, Ami's eyes turn black, with grey tendrils of energy coursing over her now-levitating body as the area nearby starts to turn dark. She grabs a wand from somewhere nobody was looking and starts to aim it at Sora, who is just standing there looking apologetic.

"Ami, please leave him alone," says Riku, still with his back turned to her. With that, Ami reverts back to her normal self, feet back on the ground and the area becoming its normal lighting.

"Anything for you, Riku-kun, my deredere kareshiiiii," she says, dreamy sound to her voice. Riku turns around and walks up to her, with her expression getting more and more ecstatic with each inch closer he gets. He stops within a single pace of Ami, who is beaming to the point of blinding onlookers.

"I have a secret for you, Ami," Riku starts, "We're the keyblade holders."

"I knew it! Of course my darling Riku-kun would be the keyblade master."

"We're here on a secret mission to defeat the Heartless," Riku starts lying, "but they've taken up residence in a cave off the coast. We can't go in because only women can enter it."

"I can turn Sora-chan into a girl! No problem!" Ami grabs her wand from somewhere nobody is looking again and starts to aim it at the shocked Sora, but Riku gently pushes her aim down.

"No, Ami, we need you to go in there and clear them out. I can make you a keyblade master like us." With that, Riku materializes his keyblade and hands it to her.

"Yaaaay, Riku-kun! You're the best!"

"You need to hurry, though. They're close to unlocking the secret of the cave and might be able to turn me into a woman at any minute."

"Noooooo!" yells Ami, tears gushing from her eyes like waterfalls just at the concept, "I won't let the Heartless do that to you! Ethereal Mutation, Magical Recall!" With that, she rises up in the air and her outfit transforms into a revealing blue and purple outfit with lots of ribbon and sapphires. As it finishes, she then does another leap from mid-air, heading towards the coast. Sora is still just standing there aghast while Riku watches her vanish into the distance with a look of disinterest on his face.

"What... was... that?" Sora asks, unable to comprehend what he just witnessed.

"There are creatures that can cause fates worse than becoming a Heartless," Riku starts, still disinterested, "She is one of those."

"You run into these a lot?" asks Sora.

"Like clockwork. Anyway, we have about ten minutes before she realizes I didn't tell her where the cave is and comes looking for us. You might want to hurry your scouting up. Narrator, are you still there?"

Yes.

"Just skip to the girl that Sora will accept."

At south-east south, a fairly attractive 5'3", 115 pound girl in her early twenties with shoulder length brown hair, brown eyes, and a decent frame is walking down the street.

"I don't know, that sounds sort of plain," says Sora.

"'Magical Ethereal Bishoujo Mikamika' might still turn you into a girl so that double the ground can be covered in finding this cave," states Riku.

"Actually, on second thought, that sounds perfect."

"Too bad there's no way you can possibly convince her to come with us."


	3. San Tropez 0 Pink Floyd

As Riku, Sora, and their new companion walk into the Gummi Ship lounge, Riku moves in close to Sora for a brief exchange.

"I still can't believe you convinced her," he whispers.

"I just thought about what would happen if Ami saw me again and it came naturally," Sora whispers back.

How rude of us. Skipping past the good parts. Let's see how their conversation went.

"Hey, wai-"

...

"So, would you like to come with us, Miss Lockwood?" Sora asked of the young woman.

"I don't know," she responded, looking a bit apprehensive, "I know that you need someone to help, but I like my life here. I have a pirate boyfriend and he's so dreamy."

"Is he Captain Jack Sparrow?" asked Sora.

"Yes... why?" she asked, noticing Sora's look has changed from neutral to sad.

"I regret to tell you that the Heartless got him," Sora said in a dire tone, looking away from her while hanging his head.

"...they got my beloved Jack?" she asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

"He was with helping us clear out the Heartless," Sora starts lying, "Just last night, while we were on the Black Pearl, another ship attacked us. We fought as hard as we could, but they sunk our ship and took Jack with them. We were just lucky that our Gummi Ship was able to recall us before we drowned."

"That's so horrible," she said, crying.

"We need you to help us," Sora said, "You have all the traits necessary to be a keyblade master."

"But that won't bring my beloved Jack Sparrow back," she said, moping.

"On the contrary, it will. He wasn't killed, just turned into a Heartless. We can fix that."

"You can?" she asked, starting to look hopeful.

"No, _we_ can. We need a third keyblade master if we are to stand a chance of getting him back."

"I... I'll help," she said, meekly.

"Okay, good. We need to hurry back to the ship right now, though."

"Wh... why?" she asked.

"There's a Heartless commander around here. She's incredibly dangerous and we can't fight her at the moment."

"Was it that girl with that outfit that I could see the knickers through?" she asks.

"Yes," Sora answered, looking a bit apprehensive, "we really need to get going as soon as possible."

"But I can't just leave my family here without saying goodbye," she responds.

"Sora, if I may have a word with you," starts Riku, who had decided to join the conversation now.

"Okay, I need to talk with Riku," Sora said, "Go ahead and tell your family about this, but please, hurry back as soon as possible. We'll be in the alleyway between the meat shop and tailor."

"O...okay," she answered, "Thank you, Sora." With that, she then rushes off towards the residential district. Sora and Riku start walking towards the alley.

"That's so unlike you, Sora," starts Riku as they walk to the alley, "Lying to that girl about her boyfriend... how did you know it was Sparrow, anyway?"

"Shot in the dark," responds Sora, flatly, "People tend to gravitate to the same few people on each world. And this lie is a lot better than the truth. She would have found out that he's just a womanizer and didn't care about her anyway, so it was either let her hate both him and herself or get her to hate the Heartless for robbing her of this non-existent relationship."

"Why, Sora, I didn't know you had it in you," said Riku, giving a sense of cynical pride in his tone.

"Well, I've learned quite a bit from... oh, cripe," said Sora, noticing something in the sky.

"It's Ami, isn't it?" Riku asked.

"Quick, take cover," Sora said, ducking under the remains of an old horse carriage. Riku quickly follows suit. Within seconds, they could hear something positively frightening.

"Riiiiiikkkkuuuuu-kuuuuuun! Where are youuuuuuu?" they hear Ami shout as she lands in the street and starts walking around. She gleefully pushes people aside as she starts searching the stores and alleys. Sora looks genuinely frightened while Riku just looks more annoyed than anything. As she's looking in the alley directly across the street from them, Miss Lockwood approached them.

"I'm ready, gentlemen," she said, before she notices where they are, "...why are you under that carriage?"

"Riiiiiikuuuuu!" shouts Ami, having now noticed where they are. She starts skipping towards them briskly.

"Oh, no!" exclaimed Sora as he fumbles for his communicator, "Computer, three to beam up immediately!"

"I found that cave, Riku-kun, but it requires two women to open the door," she said, grabbing her wand out from somewhere nobody is looking, "I'll make Sora a girl! It won't be that hard, since he's not much of a man anyway." Just as she starts chanting some pseudo-Japanese while materializing a bolt of energy to hurl at Sora, the transporter kicks in and recalls Sora, Riku, and Miss Lockwood before either the bolt or Ami could reach them.

...

And that's how Sora convinced this innocent bystander to come along.

"We already knew that, narrator," Sora says.

Yes, but the audience didn't.

"Mind if we continue?" Riku asks, impatiently.

Go ahead.

"Thank you," Riku says. He and Sora turn around to talk with Miss Lockwood, who seems a bit scared.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, Miss Lockwood," starts Sora, "We're quite safe on the Gummi Ship."

"That girl was frightening," she starts, sounding just a bit frazzled, "She couldn't have been a Heartless, though. She seemed to really love you, Riku."

"No," starts Riku, "She's just crazy. Anyway, Sora and I have to handle some things on the bridge. Make yourself at home." With that, Sora and Riku walk onto the bridge.

"I wish I was being chased by completely dedicated, nubile young women to the point where I can just write them all off as crazy," Sora says, rolling his eyes.

"They're fun the first couple times," Riku starts, "But if you were in my situation, you'd really want to get as far away from them as possible. Besides, you saw how she reacted to you. I was protecting you from getting killed or turned into a girl."

"I wasn't really scared of either," starts Sora, "After all, we're the keyblade masters and she's just some random teen girl."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that," Riku says, "So, where are we going? We might want to get out of orbit before 'Mikamika' figures out where we went."

"Computer," Sora directed towards the screen.

"Yes, captain?" responds the mechanical female voice.

"Make us go _that_ way for a little," Sora says, pointing in a random direction.

"...I do not have a camera installed on the bridge," the computer responded, with the same tone but still somehow communicating cynicism, "I'm sorry, but as per my prime directive, I cannot take you to consecutive worlds that lack Heartless activity."

"What's the absolute furthest world that has Heartless activity?" Sora asks.

"King Mickey wants us to stay within the Disney and Square sectors," the computer states.

"What, and let the Heartless multiply and conquer a whole ring of worlds surrounding us?" Sora responds, "No, we need to go from the outside inwards if we want to stand a chance at clearing them once and for all."

"I understand your logic, but can't help but think you have an ulterior motive," says the computer.

"Please just list the furthest worlds that have Heartless activity," Sora says, impatiently.

"The absolute furthest is in an asteroid belt in-" starts the computer.

"Pass."

"If I may ask, why pass that?" asks the computer, "It is the furthest activity as you requested."

"No people at stake. Our prime directive is to protect the citizens of the universe, after all. What's the furthest inhabited planet?"

"There's a twin phase planet that has 21st century humans," states the computer, showing it on the screen.

"Great," said Sora, "Take us there, computer. Full speed." With a lurch, the ship repositions itself and goes into hyperspace.

"Estimated time of arrival to Shinigami-Earth: 52 hours, 22 minutes, 9 seconds," states the computer

"Perfect," Sora says, walking towards the door, "Riku and I have some business in the lounge. Just run on automatic for now."


	4. Vasoline 0 Stone Temple Pilots

Sora and Riku walk through the door to the lounge to find Miss Lockwood hiding under the table, looking frightened.

"What are you doing?" asks Sora.

"I felt the ship shake and thought we were under attack," Miss Lockwood says with a tone of fear in her voice.

"Anna, that's just the ship changing course," Sora explains, "It's nothing to worry about."

"Oh, thank the lord we're not under attack," she says, relieved, "I was so scared."

"Don't be," Sora requests, offering his hand to help her up, "You need to have courage if we're going to take on the Heartless."

"Th...thank you, Sora," she says, getting up, "I'm so scared. I was just shopping for some flowers to plant in our garden when we met. Now I'm on this weird metal ship in space after having found out that the Heartless killed my boyfriend. I'm so scared."

"Don't be," Sora says, giving a cheerful expression, "The Heartless are no match for us. You just need to believe in yourself."

"Believe... in... myself?" she asks.

"You're not that different from how I was when I started. You just need to learn self-control. Come, let's get out of these rags."

"But my mother gave me this dress," she says.

"That dress isn't going to protect you from the Heartless," Sora replies

"But you're just wearing wool clothes," she answers.

"Actually..." starts Sora, as he takes off the wool clothing to reveal his normal outfit.

"Ack!" she responds, backing away.

"What's wrong?" Sora asks.

"You're not from Port Royal!" Anna answers.

"We never said we were from Port Royal," Sora responds.

"But that means you're from another world," Anna says, still startled.

"Please relax," Sora requests, "I thought you understood that when I explained everything."

"I'm sorry, I'm just so jumpy. This is more excitement than I've ever had in my life."

"Don't worry about it. Anyway, we have a lot of clothing in the other room. Feel free to change into something."

"Okay. Th...thank you, Sora," she says, walking off.

"Sora," starts Riku as she exits the room, "I've kept quiet, but watching this has convinced me that this is a very bad idea."

"Oh, so she's a little green," Sora says, sounding enthusiastic, "She'll learn."

"Did you not notice that she found your _clothing_ scary?"

"She's a fish out of water," Sora says.

"Please stop deluding yourself, Sora," Riku responds, looking impatient, "When she actually meets a Heartless, she's going to wet herself and run away screaming like she's ten years old."

"She'll be fine," Sora retorts.

"Look, I know you're going through a... phase right now. I understand. Our roles don't allow us a whole lot of free time to just be regular people. But this is not the way to resolve this. Let's just head back to Port Royal and drop her off."

"What, and give up?" asks Sora, indignantly.

"How about this, Sora," starts Riku, having come up with a plan, "We can stop by Radiant Garden and pick up some illusion charms. You can take my appearance and spend a couple days with Ami."

"What?" asks Sora, indignantly.

"You find her pretty, yes? I saw how you were staring at her. She's not very smart, so just a simple illusion trick should let you be with her for a while. Take a week or two, go do stuff together, and afterwards, we can just resume our jobs."

"How can you even suggest this with a straight face?" asks Sora, staring incredulously at Riku, "I don't want to pretend to be my best friend to be with that... that... psycho witch."

"Well, you're giving sort of mixed signals with-" Riku starts, getting cut off.

"And I don't want just one or two weeks vacation with some shallow, vapid girl. I want to just retire and live a normal life. That's the whole point of training a replacement."

"Then why don't we make her be the replacement?" Riku says.

"Oh, please," Sora responds, with a hint of disbelief, "She'll sacrifice herself for the greater good in less than a week. Probably won't come back, either."

"You know more about her type than you let on," Riku muses.

"I'm not naive," Sora says.

"Didn't say you were." Just as Riku said that, the door opened to show Anna wearing one of Kairi's outfits.

"Looking good, Anna," Sora remarks, giving a thumbs up while giving an eyes-closed toothy smile.

"Are you sure this is good?" Anna asks, "I feel so awkward. It's really tight around my hips and the bracelets wouldn't fit."

"You look good," said Riku, playing along, "Don't worry about it."

"I feel so exposed and indecent. I couldn't get the top to cover my belly. And this skirt doesn't go around all the way or cover my knees. And what's with the shoes? They're so huge and I couldn't find any socks for them."

"Anna," Sora interrupts.

"Yes?" she responds.

"Please stop worrying. You look great. We'll get you some more outfits when we reach our destination."

"Thank you," Anna says, "I'm just so nervous. This is different from everything I've grown up with."

"Don't worry, things are looking up. But we should probably do something about your hair."

"My hair?" asks Anna.

"Yes. I can tell that you don't ever use shampoo."

"Shampoo is _expensive_," she states, sounding indignant.

"Maybe where you used to live," starts Sora, "but we have plenty of shampoo here. How do you think I keep my hair like this?"

"I thought maybe you just woke up or something," responds Anna. Riku holds back a snicker, much to the irritation of Sora.

"Just head back through that door," Sora says, "I'll be with you in a second."

"Okay. Thank you for helping me, Sora." Anna walks through the door, nearly tripping over her own shoes. Sora gets up to walk over, pausing when Riku makes a comment.

"Are you really going to give her Kairi's clothing?" asks Riku.

"It's only temporary," Sora answers, making a half-turn to talk with Riku, "We'll get her something new when we arrive at Shinigami-Earth."

"Whatever. Please remember that this is still just your birthday present and I don't care that much about the outcome." With that, both of them walk to the other room.


	5. Pretender 0 Foo Fighters

As they walk into the bathroom, they notice her confused by the layout.

"Sora," starts Anna, "I don't know what to do here."

"Oh... um... haha..." Sora says, embarrassed. Riku nudges him forward.

"I think I know what some of this is, but I don't know what that closet is for."

"That's not a closet," explains Sora, still feeling uncomfortable, "It's a shower. Water comes from that thing up top and you use it to wash yourself." Sora presses a few buttons to start it up.

"Oh. I get it now," she says, "Thank you, Sora."

"No problem," Sora responds. "Towels are over here," he said, pointing them out while he grabs a bunch of bottles out of the medicine cabinet, "and I need you to wash your hair with this, this, and this separately. Just squeeze the bottle over your hair, run your fingers through, let it sit for a minute, then wash it with water."

"You act like I've never washed my hair before," she responds flatly.

"Well... I... I don't know, you asked me how the bathroom works and I guess I just made assumptions."

"Don't worry about it," she responds, "I'm going to wash up, then." Sora takes that opportunity to walk outside, finding Riku just watching him.

"What?" asks Sora.

"You're spending all this time on grooming her, but not on actually training her," states Riku.

"Relax, we'll just set up the virtual reality machines," Sora responds.

"When did we get a VR machine?" Riku asks, doubtful.

"Around when I needed to bring Tron over to the USS Cygnus. The remnants of Organization XIII intended to create a black hole to destroy-"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up," Riku interrupts, cutting off the excessively long story, "So, how realistic is this system?"

"Oh, you actually become part of the computer system. It's just like real life, but everything is neon blue and jaggy."

"Descriptive," quips Riku.

"Come, we'll set it up," Sora says, heading down the hallway to an unmarked door. The two of them spend fifteen minutes setting it up before they hear a scream come from the bathroom. They both run over to find Anna with her clothing on but not straightened out staring in the mirror at her now aquamarine hair.

"What happened to my hair?!" she screeches.

"Did you give her my shampoo?" Riku asks.

"I just grabbed some... wait, you dye your hair?" asks Sora, looking incredulously at Riku.

"No, I don't dye my hair," Riku says, indignantly, "I use light hair shampoo because it makes my hair look better. She probably just got a dye as a side effect."

"And you make fun of me for taking care of my hair," Sora retorts.

"Have you two forgotten that my hair is blue?" Anna asks, now more irritated than distressed.

"Looks more green to me," Riku responds without giving much thought to it.

"It looks good on you," Sora covers for Riku, not missing a beat.

"But it looks so wrong!" she exclaims, "People are going to think I'm a witch."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Riku consoles, "The multiverse is quite open-minded these days."

"We set up the VR machine down the hall," Sora says as he turns to walk out of the bathroom, "so we can start training you now."

"But... my hair..." she says, unable to grasp why Sora and Riku don't take her seriously.

"Oh... yeah," Sora remembers, grabbing a bunch of combs and brushes out of the cabinet and handing them to her, "We'll be down the hall. Just come when you're ready."

...

Sora and Riku are preparing the digitizer unit as the still frazzled but now also irritated Anna walks in with her hair properly combed and her outfit straightened out.

"Looking good, Anna," Sora encourages, giving her an enthusiastic expression.

"Why did you leave me like that?" Anna asks, peeved.

"You need to be stronger than this," Sora says, "You're going to witness a lot of events stranger than just your hair changing color."

"But you just left me there..." she says, now also dejected.

"You can't depend on there to always be emotional support," Sora responds, "I learned that the hard way."

"Oh, posh," starts Riku, "You've spent maybe a couple hours total without somebody watching your back."

"Hey, those were important hours to me," Sora says, "And besides, Donald and Goofy were never very helpful besides just encouraging me to go on."

"Now, you realize it," Riku says, rolling his eyes.

"But what about me?" asks Anna, now more dejected than anything.

"Tell you what," starts Sora, "if your hair still bothers you when we get to Shinigami-Earth, we'll visit a hair stylist. That's the best we can offer."

"Thank you," she says, relieved.

"We'll be there in a little over two days," Sora says, now entering information into the control unit, "For now, let's get to training. I set up a simulation of a fairly standard Heartless invasion scenario."

"Um... what is all this stuff?" asks Anna, unaware of what anything in the room was.

"Oh, this is just... complex machinery," Sora answers, unsure of what much of it was himself, "Just stand on that circle in the middle of the room. Riku, could you accompany Anna inside?"

"No, I think you should go, Sora," responds Riku, "She's your charge, after all."

"But I know how to operate this machine," Sora says.

"So do I," Riku responds, "Besides, if you need me to do anything special, you can just communicate with me."

"Okay," Sora says, "Anna, this will feel weird at first, but just be brave."

"I'll try my best," Anna says, apprehensive.

"Take us in," Sora requests. Riku complies, pressing a few buttons and activating the digitizer, which brings Sora and Anna within the digital realm. They appear in the middle of a featureless room divided by grids, garbed in the neon blue plastic outfits and with all the color drained from their skin. Sora turns around to comfort Anna, only to find out that she's not reacting negatively.

"Sora, what is this place?" she asks, more curious than scared.

"It's a world that we can control," Sora answers, trying to keep it simple.

"That's... pretty nifty... ooh, shiny," she says, walking off in a seemingly random direction. A floating ball of light descends by the confused Sora. He turns to it.

"Riku, what did you do to her?" asks Sora to the ball of light.

"I included a chemical regulator in her suit to keep her from being such a wuss all the time," responds the ball of light in a distorted voice.

"That's cheating," Sora says, in a disappointed voice.

"I think I might have overdone it," responds the ball of light. Sora looks back to see Anna playing with imaginary butterflies.

"Maybe," sighs Sora.

"I'll turn it off," responds the ball of light, "This should at least have gotten her past the disorientation."

"Anna, are you ready to begin the training?" Sora asks. With that, she snaps out of her hallucination and walks over to him.

"I think so, but why did the butterflies and flowers all disappear?" she asks, a bit dazed.

"That's just a first time thing," Sora lies, "Riku, run the first program I set up."

"Loading Map: HTP01," says the ball of light, now in a completely monotone voice. With that, the room morphed into a primary color Gouraud shaded version of Traverse Town's fountain park.

"Going with the classics, are we?" asks the ball of light, back in the distorted voice.

"It's how I started," responds Sora, "Okay, load a single Shadow Heartless."

"Object Spawn: Shadow Heartless at Coordinates: 44.3, 22.0, 0.0," responds the ball of light, back in monotone. With that, a Heartless appears ten meters away from Sora and Anna. Anna does a minor recoil at it.

"Don't be afraid, Anna," starts Sora, "That's the lowest form of Heartless."

"It's so freakish looking," Anna responds, "It looks like black ink formed to make a monkey."

"Get used to it," Sora says, "You'll be seeing a lot of these."

"How do I fight it?" asks Anna, watching it as it stumbles around on the other side of the room trying to figure out what's going on.

"Oh... yeah," answers Sora, "Riku, load her weapon."

"Object Spawn: European Longsword at Coordinates: 42.7, -14, 0.0," with that, a basic sword appears in front of Anna.

"Okay, Anna," says Sora, "Go ahead and kill it."

"Wait, you never said anything about swords," Anna responds, outraged.

"What do you think the keyblade is?" asks Sora.

"I don't know... a... key that... I... what..." says Anna, trying to comprehend where the two items intersect.

"Just pick up the sword and stab the Heartless, please," Sora answers.

"I didn't know there was going to be violence," Anna states, backing away from the sword.

"What part of 'fight the Heartless' DIDN'T suggest violence?" Sora answers, starting to lose his patience.

"I'm sorry, Sora... I'll try my best," Anna responds, picking up the sword and holding it as far away from her as possible while keeping her face turned as much away from it while still being able to see the Heartless. She starts walking slowly towards it.

"Some girl, huh?" whispers the ball of light to Sora, back in distorted voice.

"She'll be okay," Sora whispers back.

"Should I activate the senses of that Heartless?" responds the ball of light.

"Yeah," answers Sora, "Do or die, I suppose." With that, the Heartless suddenly turned to face Anna and starts skipping towards her. Anna gives out a subdued yelp in surprise.

"Attack it, Anna," Sora instructs.

"How?" Anna asks, fear in her voice.

"Oh, for the love of... hit it with your sword," Sora answers.

"O...okay," answers Anna. She takes a wild swing at it, swinging about two feet too high and stumbling to right, barely keeping her balance. The Heartless misses her because of this shift.

"Bring the sword down on it," Sora instructs. Anna complies, taking an arcing swing downwards... about two feet to the side of it, lodging the sword into the ground. The Heartless takes this opportunity to jump onto her, making her stumble onto the ground as it starts clawing at her face. She tries to stop it from attacking, holding it away from her as it tries to claw her before she eventually punches it, launching it off of her. Both of them stumble back onto their feet.

"Good recovery," Sora praises.

"Th...thank you," Anna responds, turning to face Sora. Just as she did that, the Heartless jumps on her back and starts clawing into her. She acts startled for a couple seconds before she eventually grabs it, slams it into the ground, and starts stomping on it. She just keeps stomping on the Heartless for a minute, with it constantly trying to get back up.

"Use the sword on it," Sora instructs when he realizes that she's forgotten about it.

"Oh, right," responds Anna. She stops her attacks to grab the sword and impale the limp Heartless.

"I... I did it!" Anna shouts, excited, as she runs to him.

"See, she has potential," Sora whispers to the ball of light.

"Killing one Shadow does not a warrior make," the ball of light responds in the distorted (and vaguely cynical) voice.

"Okay, Anna, we need to practice more of the bas-" Sora says, dodging out of the way of her sword as she reaches him, "Hey, watch where you wave that thing."

"Sorry, Sora," she responds, putting the sword down.

"Don't put it away just yet. We have more training to do."

"Sorry," she responds, picking it back up.

"Riku, create another Shadow," Sora instructs to the ball of light.

"That's Riku?" asks Anna, staring at the ball of light.

"Riku is on the other side of that... think of it as one of those communication pipes on ships," Sora answers.

"Object Spawn: Shadow Heartless at Coordinates: 44.3, 22.0, 0.0." Another Heartless shows up.

"Same thing as before, Sora?" Anna asks.

"Sort of, but use the sword only," responds Sora.

"Okay, Sora," she responds. With that, she does a running charge at the Shadow, tripping over her own two feet and dropping the sword while she was five feet away from it. The Shadow takes this opportunity to jump on her back and start clawing away at her.

"Sora, I lost the sword," Anna shrieks, "What should I do?"

"Throw it off of you and get the sword," Sora instructs.

"But you said to only use the sword," Anna responds, elbowing the Shadow off of her and slowly getting back up.

"I just meant to not waste time on stomping it to death," Sora answers. Anna grabs the sword and turns to find the Shadow in mid-air heading towards her. She stumbles back while swinging at it, connecting and destroying it.

"That's... good, Anna," Sora calls out, "Let's try that again."

Sora.

"What is it, narrator?" Sora responds.

You guys are boring me. I'll be back in a couple hours when something interesting is happening.

"Wai-"


	6. Astronomy 0 Blue Oyster Cult

...Six hours later...

Anna is launched back by the Large Body into the fountain, getting doused in digital liquid. She fends off a couple Shadows before she gets back on her feet.

"Welcome back, narrator," says Sora, "Anna, I meant for you to avoid it after it starts charging."

"Sorry," Anna yells back, jumping out of the fountain to face the fat Heartless. She moves back in step with it until it signals that it's charging, with her barely avoiding it. She then runs up and jumps on its back, stabbing into it. She holds on with one arm while she repeatedly stabs with the other, with the Large Body spinning to try and shake her off. It eventually succumbs and evaporates. The last Shadow then comes out of the ground to her side, with her effortlessly slashing it.

"Okay, good show," Sora calls out to her. Anna almost collapses, using the sword to prop herself up.

"Sora, I'm really tired," Anna says, "Could we stop for now?"

"But you're doing so great," Sora responds, "You don't know how far you can go until you push yourself."

"But... so tired..." Anna says, forcing herself back on her feet and getting ready for another wave.

"Riku, same as before," Sora says to the ball of light.

"We're taking a break," responds the ball of light in a distorted voice.

"Wait... what?" asks Sora.

"It's been six hours," responds the ball of light, "I'm starving."

"But we don't have that much time to train," says Sora, indignant.

"Loading Map: BlankSlate," says the ball of light, flat monotone. The environment dissolves back into a featureless cube room. "Object Despawn: European Longsword #0001." The sword dissolves into nothingness, much to Anna's surprise. "Object Spawn: ExitCircle at Coordinates: 0.0, 0.0, 0.0." A pillar of soft light about six meters in diameter appears in the center of the room.

"Oh, come on," says Sora, annoyed. The ball of light zips over to Anna.

"Just walk into the light and I can pull you out," the ball of light tells Anna, back in the distorted voice. Anna complies, walking within the light and getting teleported out. Sora sighs and walks into the light as well. They both appear back in the ship in exactly the state they were when they entered.

"Good show, Anna," says Riku, giving a golf clap.

"You think I did okay, Riku?" Anna asks, "I kept getting hit and I had to be told to do everything."

"You're doing better than okay," Riku responds, "You must be level 12 by now."

"Wha?" Anna responds, confused.

"Nevermind," Riku answers, "Dinner should be ready now."

"It's dinner already?" asks Anna, "But it was morning not that long ago."

"Technically, in space, there's no such thing as morning, noon, or night," starts Riku, "But it's been a long day and we all need the rest."

"Okay," Anna responds.

"Just take the first right and go all the way down the hall," Riku says, "I need to talk with Sora for a minute." With that, Anna walks down the hall while Riku turns to face Sora.

"Why did you preempt me?" asks Sora, annoyed.

"Before I explain, I just want say something very painful: you were right," Riku says, still maintaining the disinterested tone.

"How so?" said Sora, his train of thought derailed.

"I now appreciate that just anybody could be a keyblade master," Riku states.

"Hey..." Sora says, noticing the undertone.

"I think she knows enough of the basics to use a proper keyblade now," Riku starts, "Next time, give her a copy keyblade."

"I don't see what difference that would make," Sora responds.

"Kairi went from distressed damsel to self-sufficient fighter when I gave her one," answers Riku, "Anna here is already past beginner skill without even having a proper keyblade. She should be fairly formidable with one now."

"When did you start caring?" starts Sora.

"Around when she threw the sword into that Soldier while running at it, did a feint to make the other one try to attack her, tripped it, and then grabbed the sword to impale it," answers Riku.

"Yeah, that was pretty good," Sora responds.

"With the keyblade, she should be exponentially more capable," Riku starts, "She'll no longer have to abide by the laws of physics and all her senses will be enhanced."

"I don't want her to use it as a crutch," responds Sora.

"She's about as ready as she's going to get," Riku retorts.

"Fine, whatever," Sora responds, "Let's go get dinner."


	7. Wrathchild 0 Iron Maiden

And so for the next 36 hours, Anna trained diligently. Even though it was just a copy, the keyblade made her faster, stronger, more aware, and capable of basic magic. While not quite at the level of Sora or Riku, she was actually able to defeat the larger Heartless. As we rejoin our heroes, she has just destroyed the Groundshaker without too much trouble.

"Okay, I admit, she can take your place," the ball of light says, distorted voice, "But all of this is still too easy."

"Do you think we should have her fight a non-Heartless?" Sora asks.

"Yes, and I have just the one," Riku answers, "One where you won't be of much help."

"Come on, I've only stopped her from getting completely defeated," Sora answers, indignant at the suggestion that he's acting as a crutch.

"Object Spawn: OrgXIII Demyx at Coordinates: 77.1, -88.0, 0.0," says the ball of light, flat voice.

"Why does that sound familiar?" Sora asks, trying to figure out which member it was.

"Dance, water, dance!" yells the pseudo-Demyx.

"AAAAAHHHH!" screams Sora, dropping his keyblade and going into a fetal position. The ball of light zips over to Anna, who doesn't seem so much scared as just bewildered about Sora's reaction.

"I guess Sora has bad memories of this one," says the ball of light, distorted voice, "All up to you." Anna nods and rushes Demyx, who responds by summoning his trademark water minions and zipping away. Anna starts slashing through them, even figuring out how to use the Wild Dance on her own. Upon finishing them, she starts to rush at Demyx.

"Water!" Demyx shouts, summoning several balls of water from the air. Anna sees this and tries to dodge, but one of their blasts knocks her off her to the ground. As she gets up, she sees Demyx starting to send more balls of water directly at her. She throws two ice bolts at them while she dodges to a side, with the bolts stopping the surefire hits while she narrowly dodges the rest. Demyx tries to rush her with a large amount of water behind him, but she takes that opportunity to get within a few feet directly in front of him and take a number of slices as he sends the water in a near perfect arc except where she was standing. Demyx eventually jumps back, then summons some more water minions and starts creating geysers while circling Anna.

It was around this point that Sora eventually broke out of his state. Upon noticing that Demyx was still out and fighting Anna quite actively, he searches the room to find the ball of light, finding it right behind him.

"Welcome back, Sora," the ball of light says, distorted.

"Riku, stop this!" shouts Sora, "This is madness!"

"She's winning," the ball of light responds.

"Oh, come on, don't lie to me like-" Sora starts, before noticing that Anna had used Wild Dance to get directly through one of the geysers and start slashing at Demyx.

"She's a bright one," starts the ball of light, "She just needs to learn how to use more abilities." This back and forth fight continues for a little before a couple choice words are shouted.

"Dance, water, dance!" Demyx shouts, summoning ten of his minions.

"Oh, cripe," exclaims Sora, readying a spell. Just as he aims, the polygons in the ground beneath him shoot up, launching him into the air and interrupting him. Meanwhile, Anna does a couple half-circle slashes to take out nine of the minions, throwing her keyblade at the tenth one just before time runs out. Demyx, however, saw an opportunity and started launching water balls at Anna. Anna tries to dodge, but no longer empowered by the keyblade, she isn't nearly fast enough to dodge and takes the full brunt of the wave. Anna, quite injured, ends up sprawled on the ground a good distance from the keyblade. Anna slowly gets up as the water minions start to surround her.

"I have to save her!" shouts Sora, running towards Anna. He's stopped by an invisible wall.

"Water!" shouts Demyx, summoning more water balls from the sky as he positions himself to have a direct line facing both Anna and the keyblade. Anna, in a desperate ploy, leaps off of one of the water minions directly into the path of a water ball. It bursts, sending her flying. She eventually meets the ground and continues sliding, grabbing the keyblade and using her other hand to launch herself into a backflip, performing an impromptu midair tackle on Demyx in the process. Once both are on the ground, she stabs downward into him with all her might. Demyx lets out a screech before bursting into a million points of light, all his manifestations of water disappearing with him. Anna gives a weak smile for a brief second before collapsing.

"Anna!" shouts Sora, finding himself no longer blocked by invisible polygons. He runs over to Anna.

"Object Spawn: ExitCircle at Coordinates: -19.7, -22.2, 0.0," says the ball of light, flat monotone. Just as Sora reaches Anna, the pillar of light engulfs them and both are pulled back into the real world. Riku is already just outside the circle as they materialize.

"What were you thinking?!" Sora shouts at Riku.

"I believe it was you that so eloquently said 'you don't know how far you can go until you push yourself,'" responds Riku.

"Yes, but... I meant within reason, not by having her fight Demyx..." Sora answers.

"She's ready," Riku says.

"That fight showed how she isn't ready," Sora responds.

"She won the first try," Riku responds, "It took you several times before you got him."

"No, I defeated him my first try," Sora answers, slightly confused, "You think I'd still be alive if I lost?"

"Right, sorry," Riku says, not sure what was going through his head, "Anyway, let's rest until we get there and you can give her the keyblade."

"Sure..." says Sora.

"That's what I like about you, Sora: you can't stay mad for longer than 20 seconds," Riku chides as he walks out.


	8. Astral Traveler 0 Yes

A little less than ten hours later, our heroes arrive at their destination: the twin phase planet of Shinigami-Earth. Sora and Riku are on the bridge, with the former sitting in the (vestigial) captain's chair and the latter sitting at the (equally vestigial) helm.

"We have arrived at our destination," the computer announces through the P.A. system.

"Excellent," Sora responds.

"Checking log of missed communication... there are 5 messages from mission control," the computer says.

"Play them back," Sora instructs. With that, the screen changes to show an oversized mouse sitting in a room full of blinking technology.

"Sora, our scanners recently picked up that you are 50 lightyears outside of the Disney sector," starts Mickey, "I am going to have to order that you turn back now."

"Yeah, yeah," Sora responds, rolling his eyes. Mickey approaches foreground and presses something, causing the screen to blank out. With a blip, another message with King Mickey comes up.

"Sora, our scanners are showing you at 500 light years away from the Disney sector. Turn back now." Another reset, another blip, and Mickey is on the screen again.

"Sora, you are currently 2000 light years-" starts the prerecorded message from Mickey before the screen blanks out.

"What just happened?" Riku asks.

"I had a few optional extras installed when the VR system was put in," Sora starts, looking smug, "This button here disables the microphone, screen, and sound system. The computer thinks we're still watching the videos as required."

"I approve," Riku says, dryly, "But once Mickey connects with the ship's network, he's going to put us under remote control and take us back."

"What network?" Sora asks, pressing another button. With that, all the blinking green lights in a corner of the room start blinking red.

"Oh, clever," Riku says, still sounding cynical that Sora has been abusing his privileges.

"I think Mickey's done just about now," Sora says, pressing the first button. The screen comes back on with Mickey in mid-sentence.

"...assumption that your ship has been commandeered. Once a successful link can be made, we are bringing you back in. If you have a dire reason for being 2 million light years out of range, please hail back within three minutes of exiting hyperspace."

"Wow... we're really that far away?" asks Sora.

"Captain, we are currently 22 million light years outside of the Disney sector," answers the computer.

"And yet, not far enough," Sora mutters under his breath.

"Captain, we've lost network functionality and are unable to connect with the central network. Advise course of action?"

"Scan the local planets for parts and services," Sora answers, cribbing a generic reply from the SOP, "Riku, Anna, and I are going on the surface."

"Standard Operating Procedure prohibits disembarking during a major malfunction without a major crisis to attend to," the computer responds.

"What's the Heartless saturation rate on the planet?" Sora asks, pressing another button. The screen pops up, showing the Heartless core saturation to be at 97.2 out of a population of 6,009,852,108 people.

"Planet is in critical condition. Authorizing immediate action."

"Prepare the telepads for placement at the highest saturation point," Sora instructs, walking outside. Riku follows, walking just a bit faster to catch up as they walk towards the ready room.

"Why are you so calm?" Riku asks.

"That button I pressed just highly exaggerated the planet's core weakness," Sora answers, "I had that function installed as well just in case."

"Right..." Riku quips, "So... what other buttons did you have installed?"

"A 72 hour log rollback, an emergency Destiny Islands override, a cappuccino maker..." Sora lists, "...Oh, also something that makes the computer sound like Gilbert Gottfried."

"I will never forgive you if you ever push that button," Riku says.

"Yeah, I don't know why I had it installed," Sora says.

"So, what's the real saturation level of the planet?" Riku asks rhetorically.

"8," Sora answers, much to Riku's surprise, "The last two numbers of the population count are also changed to show the real saturation."

"You planned all this out?" Riku asks.

"I knew someday, I'd get sick of all the limits that Mickey places on us," Sora answers.

"There wouldn't be any limits if you didn't used to spend half the time palling around with Winnie the Pooh," Riku sighs. They enter the ready room and start grabbing their usual equipment that was now mandatory.

"Of all the things that has happened the last few years," Sora starts, analyzing the brick shaped Heartless Homer, "I think it's when they started requiring us to use this gear that things took a turn south."

"What, you prefer stumbling around and hoping the locals lead us to the Heartless?" Riku answers as he finishes his loading of the tactical vest and puts it on.

"That gives me an idea," says Sora as he tosses the Heartless Homer away, "Anna needs to learn how to find them without the aid of 10 pounds of plastic and silicon. Let's go bare."

"What?" Riku asks.

"We didn't have any of this hoo-ha the first two times we saved the multiverse," Sora starts, "Anna doesn't need another crutch."

"I'm scared to admit this, but that makes perfect sense," Riku responds, taking off the tactical vest.

"This world is perfect," Sora starts, "It's low saturation, no ongoing wars or conflicts within the saturation area, and our entry point is some major city called Tokyo."

"This should help Anna ease into this," says Riku.

"Shall we?" Sora asks, walking to the door. Riku follows behind as they head to the bedrooms. They walk in to find Anna sitting at her desk writing into a book.

"Oh, hello, guys," she responds, finishing her thought and closing the book.

"I didn't know you kept a journal," Sora says, trying to make small talk.

"Oh, this thing?" Anna asks, "It's nothing. Mom told me to keep a diary for fun."

"I used to keep a journal," Sora says, "But Jiminy died after two years and I wasn't able to continue updating it myself with all this work."

"Aww, that's sad to hear," Anna responds.

"Eh, it's nothing," Sora answers, feeling awkward, "He lived about 50 times longer than his life expectancy and was happy."

"Still, it hurts to lose a friend," Anna responds.

"Anyway, we're here and I have something special for you," Sora starts. Riku takes the opportunity to slip out of the room.

"What is it?" Anna asks, getting out of her chair. Sora produces the keyblade and walks over to Anna.

"This is the keyblade," Sora says, "The original. Not a copy like I've been giving you."

"Wow... _the_ keyblade?" Anna asks, looking flattered and apprehensive at the same time.

"Yep," Sora answers, reaching to give it to her, "I'm passing it on to you now."

"I appreciate this, but you're the rightful owner and-" Anna starts.

"Anna, the keyblade needs a new master and you are the one," Sora interrupts, "You can give me a copy immediately upon getting mastery of it."

"You're sure, Sora?" Anna asks, still worried.

"Positive," Sora answers. With that, Anna lightly grabs the handle of the keyblade and takes it from Sora. A brief moment of silence encapsulates the air before Anna's eyes refocus. She then looks around the room, suddenly more aware of everything around her.

"Wow..." starts Anna, "The power... I can feel everything." She waves it around in the air aimlessly a few times.

Um, guys?

"What is it, narrator?" Sora answers, indignant.

You're boring me. I'm going to go watch somebody else for a while. I'll be back when you're doing something more interesting like killing Heartless.

"Wa


	9. Take a Bow 0 Muse

The subway train arrives on time, shuffling the people getting off with those getting on. The usual folk are amongst this crowd, consisting of salary men, office ladies, and other boring people. Most boring looking of all, however, was a young man in his early twenties. He walks to the end of the last car, sitting as far away from everybody else as he goes over the materials in his briefcase. So much to do, so little time.

"Ryuk," he says in a low voice to the side, beckoning to an unseen creature, "Do you think maybe I've gone too far?"

"Pardon, Light-kun?" responds a very unnatural creature that only the young man was aware of.

"These recent events have me stumped," says Light, continuing to work on his latest flow chart, "You're sure the Shinigami council has no idea what's going on?"

"Who knows?" Ryuk responds, giving a peculiar chuckle.

"You always tell me about how much more work I do than a Shinigami," Light continues, pondering over a troublesome part of the chart, "Is it possible that this is a side effect of using the note so much?"

"It's never happened before," Ryuk answers truthfully.

"These shadow creatures do not reflect well on Kira," Light says, now just blankly staring at the flow chart, "They have no mind, no inhibition. They only care to destroy everything around them."

"But you can control them," Ryuk answers, keeping the same creepy expression on his face as usual.

"That is fortunate," Light says, "But that is what worries me. Why is my punishment creating these creatures and why am I able to control them with my mind? Am I becoming more like a Shinigami?"

"Beats me," Ryuk elusively answers, making a motion that vaguely looked like shoulder shrugging.

"I can feel my control over them grow more tenuous with each one I make. I feel them resisting my control in the corners of my mind. I don't know how long I can keep them digging in the ocean." Light ponders over the chart he was working on, erasing a branch and beginning to fill in a new one. "Every time they break free, they make a path of destruction towards me. It takes a lot of effort to prevent them from getting close to me."

"Light so glum," mutters Ryuk, chuckling.

"So far, I've managed to keep the connection between these creatures and Kira hidden from the team. It was fortunate the shadow creatures found me on an empty street. And it's fortunate that the media is treating the first sightings as an urban legend. We're just lucky L is no longer with us."

"Rest his soul," Ryuk says, continuing his chuckling.

"Eventually, somebody is going to start monitoring the shores. It's already unusual for Kira's targets to seek out water and vanish. We're just lucky nobody has acted on this information yet, but somebody will eventually figure it out." As he said that, the muddied P.A. system announces its next stop. Light puts away his work and walks up to the doors, getting off as they open. They walk up to street level and go into a residential area. Light makes a minor gesture to Ryuk.

"If you can't control these creatures, why not stop creating them?" Ryuk asks mockingly. Light chooses to ignore his tone.

"If Kira stops punishments for even a week, all this work will be undone," Light responds in a very low voice, keeping his head down and his mouth movements limited, "But I have a theory."

"That Misa won't create these creatures?" Ryuk asks.

"Exactly," responds Light. As they reach the house they were searching for, Light takes out a key and opens the door. He immediately notices that the lights in the living room are off in spite of his directions that they be kept on until he gets home. He takes off his coat and puts his briefcase down.

"Misa is so pretentious," Light thinks as he flips the switch. He looks to the couch, expecting Misa in a nightgown, but she's not there. It only takes a second for him to notice that Misa is bound, gagged, and hanging by rope from the ceiling fan.

"Don't move!" shouts a feminine voice from the still dark corner of the room. Light slowly raises his hands above his head, keeping the same determined expression on. This was a scenario he had planned for.

"I know you think that Misa Amane's boyfriend must obviously be exquisite to date such a pop sensation," Light starts, "But I don't have quite as much money or anything of particular value."

"Oh, please," says the female voice, "You think this is a robbery?"

"I don't see why else you'd have waited at home for the network administ-" starts Light, getting cut off.

"Lies, Light Yagami!" shouts the voice, stepping out of the artificial darkness. Out comes an unusually tall mid-teen woman with purple hair and red eyes, dressed in a blue and black sapphire studded outfit, holding a thin piece of polished wood level with Light's chest.

"Who is this and how did she find me?" Light ponders, confused about the situation.

"This is an interesting toy your world has," she says, drawing a normal looking collegiate notebook from behind her back, "Anyone whose name is written in here dies?"

"I don't know-" Light starts, knowing full well that the game is up but trying to get her to expose more information.

"Lies!" she shouts, her eyes now luminescent, "You're the Heartless master of this world! I should kill you where you stand!"

"Heartless?" asks Light, "Are those the shadow creatures?"

"Stop playing dumb with me!" she shouts, "You're amassing a whole army of them in the seas! Why?!"

"I'm not amassing an army," Light responds, "I'm sending them there to stay out of the way. I can't figure out how to reliably destroy them without calling attention to myself."

"Wait... you aren't trying to destroy the world?" the woman says, her eyes dimming.

"These 'Heartless' are not my doing," Light responds, "I want to destroy them as much as you do, Miss..."

"Ami," she finishes for him.

"Well, Miss Ami, I-" Light starts, getting cut off.

"Ami! Ami! AH-MI!" she yells at him.

"That's how I pronounced it," Light responds.

"No, you said 'Amy'. It's Ami!" she yells again.

"So another psychotic woman has found me," Light thinks, trying to make sense of the situation, "Where is she from? She's not from Japan, judging by her very poor Japanese. She doesn't look like any nationality I've ever seen. How did she find me? And what does she mean 'this world'?"

"Well, then, Ami," Light says, careful to pronounce her name the way she demanded, "You want something else from me, though."

"How can you tell?" Ami asks.

"You could have killed me when I walked through that door," Light answers, "But you saw fit to intimidate me. What is it you want?"

"I want your help," Ami states.

"Mind if we get out of this awkward situation?" Light asks, "I'm not going to pull anything on you."

"Sure," Ami says, putting the notebook and piece of wood somewhere behind her back. Light puts his arms down slowly.

"Light sure is popular amongst women," Ryuk remarks, chuckling.

"Don't think I don't hear you, Ryuk," Ami says, glaring daggers at him. Ryuk just gives a dumbfounded expression before wandering off.

"May I take Misa down?" Light asks, "She's not going to try anything." Ami gives him a doubtful glance before making a gesture with her left index and middle finger at Misa, causing all her binds to vanish, dropping her to the ground. Light walks over to comfort her, embracing her.

"Be careful, Light," she whispers, frightened, "I couldn't see her name with my eyes."

"Don't worry," Light whispers back, "I'll talk with her. Wait for me upstairs."

"Okay, Light-kun," she responds, breaking the embrace and walking upstairs. Light sits down on the couch, motioning for Ami to join him.

"What is it you want?" Light asks as she sits down in the armchair to the side.

"I met this man on another world," Ami starts, giving a lovesick tone.

"I don't understand what you mean by another world," Light says.

"I'm not from this world," Ami starts, "I came here following this man."

"How did you come here?" Light asks.

"I rode the wake of his space ship," Ami responds.

"Wait..." Light says, thinking he missed a detail or six.

"I'm a witch," Ami says, "I can do a lot of things."

"So she has the power to travel worlds, manifest objects, and somehow locate me out of six billion people," Light thinks, "But is using these powers to stalk some crush of her's. What is she, some sort of idiot goddess?"

"I love this man, but he doesn't want me," Ami continues, "That baka yaro 'friend' of his must have brainwashed him. I need to kill him, but I can't do it in front of my darling Riku."

"Do you think maybe he just isn't interested in you?" Light asks, knowing he's treading on dangerous ground.

"How dare you?!" Ami asks indignantly, interpreting levels of meaning in Light's question that he didn't want to project, "I'm Azure Hauteclaire Momoko! I'm the most beautiful person in the universe! Every man wants me and every woman wants to BE me! That demon 'friend' of Riku is just jealous and wants to hurt me!"

"Okay, please, calm down," Light says, "I'll help you, but I have a condition."

"What is it?" Ami asks, calming herself down.

"You will find out what's causing Kira's punishments to create Heartless," Light starts, "You must fix that, then destroy all the Heartless."

"You didn't need to ask that," Ami says, giving a wide smile that looked just a little creepy, "I'm going to do that once I save Riku."

"Okay, then," Light says, "Do you still have that death note?"

"Oh, this?" Ami asks, pulling out the collegiate notebook.

"Do you have a way of monitoring this man?" Light asks. With that, Ami takes her wand out from nowhere in particular and zaps the TV, causing it to display security camera footage of Sora and Riku in the waiting room of a salon, both reading magazines. Also in view is a front desk, complete with phone. It even included sound, with running water and electric razors giving the usual cadence.

"I recognize that place," Light starts, "Misa goes there for her late night treatments. Only salon open late at night. Let me prepare the death note for you." Ami hands the book over to Light, who checks his watch before writing in the following entry:

23:05: Grab the phone, scream into it.

23:06: Run into salon area, grab scissors, run back to waiting area, cut wrists, slash throat, stab heart.

23:07: Heart attack.

"In the empty line above, write the full name of that man while thinking of his face," Light instructs. Ami does so, writing Sora in.

"Now what?" Ami asks.

"We wait," Light says, getting up to grab the wireless phone. He sits back down, keeping an eye on his watch. At 23:04:40, he dials in the number of the salon. On the TV, the receptionist picks up the phone.

"Puffy Maimi Salon. How may I help you?" responds the receptionist.

"Hello. Do you have any slots open next Saturday around midnight?" Light asks.

"Oh, hello, Mr. Yagami. Let me check." Light keeps an eye on his watch, seeing it go past 23:05. Sora looks around for a few seconds, but doesn't leave his seat.

"I'm sorry, we don't," responds the receptionist, "We do have one open at 23:15, though."

"That is too early for us," Light answers, "But if an opening on or after midnight opens up, please give me a call."

"Okay. Thank you for calling." The receptionist hangs up and Sora is still just sitting there. 23:06 goes by, with nothing happening. Sora nudges Riku to get his attention.

"Riku, did you hear that?" Sora asks.

"Hear what, Sora?" he asks back.

"I thought I heard a voice tell me to grab that phone and scream into it a minute ago," Sora starts, "Then another voice just now told me to grab scissors and kill myself. Think the Heartless are doing something?"

"Maybe. I don't know," Riku responds, "Don't worry about it. You obviously didn't follow the voices in your head, so you're okay."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Sora responds, flinging the magazine back onto the table. With that, a woman enters the frame. 23:07 passes by and Sora gives a look of discomfort while touching his heart.

"I think my heart just skipped a beat," Sora says.

"Aww, you think I'm that pretty?" asks the woman, blushing.

"Yes, you look very good, Anna," Sora responds, giving an embarrassed smile.

"Thank you, Sora," Anna responds, smiling warmly, "It means a lot to me."

"I'm glad you chose to keep the aquamarine," Sora says, "Let's go get you a new outfit."

"Okay," Anna responds, with all three of them walking outside.

Back in the Yagami residence, Light is staring disinterested while Ami looks just a bit miffed.

"What a useless book!" she shouts, throwing it at the TV. As it hits, the TV turns off.

"Maybe you have to be born on this world for the death note to work," Light says, "I wonder how they got an appointment on such short notice."

"Send the Heartless to kill him!" Ami barks.

"No Heartless," Light states firmly, "But maybe I shouldn't say that. I have a better plan that would require them."

"What is it, Light?" she asks, calming herself down.

"I'm part of the team investigating Kira," Light states, "What if we frame Sora?"

"I don't understand," says Ami, starting to chew on a fingernail before catching herself and stopping.

"What are they doing here?" Light asks, "I noticed Sora mentioned the Heartless."

"They're here to clear the world of the Heartless," Ami answers, "Just like me."

"And who is this 'Anna' that was with them?" Light asks, "She and Sora seem to have something going on."

"I don't know," Ami responds.

What is their modus operandi?" Light asks.

"What?" Ami responds, not knowing the phrase.

"How do they find and kill the Heartless?" Light simplifies.

"I don't know... probably the same way I do," Ami starts, "Wander around until you see Heartless or an out of place person, then things just go from there."

"How did you find me?" Light finally asks.

"I followed the psychic connection of the Heartless," Ami responds.

"Okay," Light responds, grabbing some paper from the table and drawing up a chart, "Here's how this is going to work..."


	10. Locomotive Breath 0 Jethro Tull

As we rejoin our heroes, they're involved in the most exciting activity in the universe: clothes shopping.

"Oh, welcome back, narrator," Sora sarcastically quips.

"Sora, are you sure this is really necessary?" asks Riku.

"Yes," answers Sora, "Anna needs a proper outfit to inspire people. Spending six hours shopping is a perfectly fine use of time until the Heartless attack." With that, a bunch of screams start emanating from the courtyard.

"Oh, about time," Riku says, rolling his eyes and running outside. Sora walks over to the changing room, knocking on one of the doors.

"What is it?" asks a woman on the other side.

"Heartless are here," Sora announces, "Time for action."

"But I'm not ready yet," she responds.

"Just come out," Sora requests. Anna walks out, wearing a white and pastel red outfit. She hadn't finished strapping up her back, leaving the top fairly uneven.

"This doesn't look or fit that great," Anna says.

"You look good," Sora comments as he helps straighten out her top and finishes buttoning it for her.

"You think so?" Anna asks.

"Yes," Sora responds, "Now, let's go kill the Heartless."

"Okay!" Anna says enthusiastically, summoning her keyblade and giving Sora a copy. They both run out in the general direction of the screams, finding the Heartless on the lower floor attacking everyone they can while a large one dangles a blonde haired girl over a fountain. Riku motions to Sora and Anna.

"Welcome to the party," Riku sarcastically comments.

"Anna, you know what to do," Sora tells her. She nods, jumps off the side, and starts mowing through the Heartless. They were mostly Shadow types, with a couple Soldiers intermixed, so they proved to be no trouble. The large one, a type that none of them had ever seen before, retreated before Anna could reach it, dropping the blonde girl into the fountain. As Anna finishes off the last Shadow, she walks over to the fountain and helps scoop the girl out.

"Don't worry, it's safe now," Anna assures the soaking wet blonde girl as she coughs up water. She walks her over to a nearby bench, where Sora and Riku are waiting with some towels they got from the nearby store.

"Th-th-thank y-you," the blonde girl stutters out, shivering from the freezing cold water of the fountain as she wraps herself.

"It was no problem," Anna responds, "What's your name?"

"Misa Amane," the blonde girl states, starting to warm up.

"Well, Misa," Sora starts, "Why do you think the Heartless attacked you?"

"They want my power," says Misa, going into actress mode, "I'm can track down anything. I think they want to make me one of them so they can track something."

"That's horrible," Anna says.

"I had just figured out who was controlling them when I got attacked," Misa continues, "I think I accidentally mind-linked with him and now he's sending Heartless after me. I'm scared."

"Don't be worried," Anna says, "We'll protect you."

"Really?" Misa responds, sounding hopeful.

"Yes," Anna says, "Could you lead us to this Heartless master?"

"I guess I can, but I need a man to act as a medium... that man," Misa says, pointing at Sora. Sora gives a surprised expression, but Riku just chuckles and nudges him forward.

"Well, um... what do you need me to do?" Sora asks, hiding his embarrassment.

"In order to track down this Heartless master, I need to keep in constant physical contact with you," Misa explains. This just makes Sora blush even more.

"What?" Sora asks, looking away.

"No, not in that way," Misa says, sensing what Sora was thinking, "I just need you to hold my wrist."

"Oh," Sora says. Misa extends her left arm out towards Sora. He reluctantly takes hold of Misa's wrist, who then gently pulls him closer.

"Don't let go," she tells him, "And for you two, please stay at least eighty meters behind us at all times."

"Sure thing," Riku says.

"Let's start, Sora," Misa says, getting up, "If I stop, please yank me along. We're going outside that door to our left, down that hallway."

"Okay," Sora responds, walking alongside Misa. As they reach the door, Misa stops moving. Sora waits for a few seconds, then reluctantly drags her through the door. As Sora awkwardly drags her along, she gives him more directions.

"Take a left and go down this street past the first intersection," she says, still putting up moderate resistance.

"Okay," Sora answers. They continue down the street, take a left, take a right, all while she makes it a hassle.

"Are you sure I should keep dragging you?" Sora asks, apprehensive.

"This requires a lot of focus, so it's okay," Misa answers.

"Are you sure?" Sora answers, "People are staring at us."

"They can't understand," Misa says, tears welling up in her eyes, "Nobody can understand me..."

"I'm sorry," Sora apologizes.

"Drag me harder, Sora! Faster!" Misa demands, closing her eyes and giving an expression of distress. Sora continues, his conscience screaming at him as he forces her along. Sora feels pangs of guilt with each person they pass, all of whom slowly move out of the way. Eventually, while within sight of the monorail station, Misa starts leading Sora along instead of letting herself be dragged. She swipes her card on the reader twice to allow both of them walk through, leading Sora upstairs to the far end of the platform. They then board the train, with Misa watching the platform from the window. With only ten seconds before the train doors close, Riku and Anna run up. Misa makes a pointing motion, then shows four fingers, signaling them to go to the fourth car. They comply, just barely getting in as the doors close. As the train departs, a dozen cops and security personnel swarm the platform, unable to stop the train.

"Why doesn't anybody understand me?!" Misa shouts, crying as hard as she can. The seven other people start to quietly shuffle to the next car, not wanting to be involved in this.

"Please calm down, Misa," Sora says, "You're making a scene."

"Let everybody else think what they want!" Misa shouts, glaring at everybody else as they quicken their journey to the other car. As the last one files out, Misa wipes away her tears.

"Please, Misa, I don't mean you any harm," Sora calmly states.

"I'm sorry, Sora," she says, "I just get so emotional when I do this. Let's sit over there." Misa then drags Sora over to the end furthest away from the other cars.


	11. Highway Star 0 Deep Purple

Meanwhile, in the fourth car...

"So, Anna," Riku starts, "Is it just me or does this Misa person set off a lot of alarms?"

"What do you mean?" Anna replies.

"I've been to a lot of worlds and witnessed a lot of different forms of magic," Riku begins, "But all of it have some logical consistency to it. These rules that Misa has us following have no logical basis."

"Well, magic is weird," Anna says, "I couldn't fully grasp it at first."

"It's not this weird," Riku responds, "And besides, Misa's abilities aren't even pure magic, but just simply psychic powers. Those are as direct and simple in use as it gets."

"It was sort of weird that she singled out Sora," Anna responds.

"That's it!" Riku quietly exclaims, getting out of his seat, "She just wanted Sora by herself. She even referred to him by name. And this circuitous path to the monorail seems like she wanted to just throw us off. Come on, we're going over to them right now."

"Shouldn't we wait the train to stop?" Anna asks, getting up.

"No, Sora is in danger and we need to save him," Riku responds, wading through the people that didn't seem to care one way or another about what they were talking about. Anna follows suit. Once they reach the second to last car, they hear some thumping noises on the ceiling.

"What was that?" Anna asks.

"Oh, for the love of..." Riku starts, getting cut off by a rumble that shakes the whole train. They hear this loud metallic slicing noise, then feel the train start to decelerate. Everybody else in the car all get on the floor and cover their heads.

"Come on, we need to hurry!" Riku exclaims. He and Anna wade through the people as fast as they can when all of the sudden, Shadow and Soldier Heartless start bursting in through the windows. They start grabbing people until a well aimed fire ball destroys one, diverting their attention.

"Face us, vile creatures!" Anna shouts, assuming a ready stance. Riku is just behind her, facing the opposite direction with his back almost up against her's. The Heartless all toss aside their victims and start rushing them. Anna and Riku start slashing the Shadows and Soldiers that rush them, taking care not to let a gap larger than a foot develop between their backs. Within less than a minute, they kill about two dozen Heartless before they stop filtering in through the windows. After a couple seconds of inactivity, Anna heads towards the door to the first train car. She opens it to find that it has been separated and is about half a mile away.

"Don't bother," Riku shouts, "It's too far away and we have more important issues at hand."

"But Sora-" Anna starts.

"He'll be fine," Riku interrupts, "These other people, however, need us."

"Okay, Riku," Anna replies, closing the door and turning around to head with Riku to the other cars. They open the door to find the Heartless subduing people. Each of them take a side and run through, cutting a swathe through the Heartless. They then converge through the door to the next car, take up positions, and repeat the same thing. One of the Soldier Heartless ducked out a window just before they reached it, however. They give chase, finding just a couple Shadows and a Soldier still crawling around on the roof. They effortlessly mow them down as the train slowly comes to a halt.

Meanwhile, Sora's train rolls on by a section of track a mile away, passing over a pillar extending out of the lake this couple mile stretch was over. As it gets a fair distance away, the track bursts with the force of a huge creature. A black skinned creature resembling a cross between an anglerfish and a komodo leaps through the freshly created gap. It has a mouth a fair bit larger than the track, which it doesn't so much walk on top of as it digs its claws in to the sides. It gives off a gargled roar before it starts "climbing" its way towards the stranded train at a fairly brisk pace.

"Oh, dear," Riku sighs, "They never leave home without a huge one, do they?"

"What should we do?" Anna asks.

"Kill it," Riku replies, hopping down from the train onto the track. Anna follows suit, not sure what Riku has in mind, and both of them start running towards the Angler-Komodo. It opens with a high pressure water spray from its mouth, which Riku jumps over but Anna... doesn't. She quickly stabs her keyblade into the track before she got knocked off, however. Riku lands directly in front of the Angler-Komodo as it finishes its breath and tries to take a bite. He hops back, slicing into the lip of the A-K. Anna regains her composure and runs up to assist Riku, who is now mostly on the defensive as the A-K keeps make bite attempts as it slowly moves forward.

After some more evasive action and slicing the lip when the opportunity presents itself, Anna hops onto the A-K's back and stabs into it. It gives out a great yelp of pain before it then braces itself to the tracks and starts whomping its tail into it. This causes huge shockwaves that requires even Riku to stab into the track, but effortlessly shakes Anna off. She gets flung off behind and slightly to the side of the A-K, barely keeping herself on the tracks by stabbing into the side. The A-K then continues its blind rampage of biting towards Riku.

Anna swings herself back up, proceeding to run behind the A-K, hop along its back while slicing in a line, and rejoins Riku in front of it. Riku makes a gesture to Anna before hopping back a good twenty paces away from the A-K. Anna follows.

"Anna," Riku shouts over the loud crunching noises of the A-K as it continues to "climb" towards them, "Do you see the gills on either side of this thing?"

"The what?" Anna asks.

"The flaps on the sides," Riku clarifies. Anna looks carefully, noticing the flaps.

"What about them?" Anna asks, unsure of what Riku was getting at.

"Watch the one on the left and tell me when you get an inspiration," Riku instructs.

"I don't understand," Anna replies.

"Please," Riku requests. Anna nods and just stares at the right gills for a little, not knowing what Riku had in mind.

"I get it," Anna states.

"On five," Riku instructs, allowing the A-K to move in back within its original range. Anna is a bit late in noticing this, quickly hopping over back next to Riku. Upon reaching his side, Riku starts the countdown.

"Four... three... two..." Riku counts down as he and Anna continue dodging the wild bites and forward progression of the A-K, "...one!" Riku shouts. With that, both he and Anna, perfectly synchronized, jump back and throw their keyblades in an outer curve at the peak of their jump. The blades curve inwards right into the gills on both sides and slice through, making a blue explosion flash on the inside where they meet that makes the monster bellow out in agony. Just as this happened, Riku and Anna land on the ground, immediately jumping back forward with a cross motion to swap their positions. The keyblades come out the opposite gills and curve back, being grabbed by Riku and Anna at the peak of their jump. They then land within ten feet of the now reeling A-K.

The Angler-Komodo, still letting out its horrible, gargled bellows, starts grabbing the track harder to hold on to dear life. As it does this, it crushes the rail system, compressing it into a one meter wide mass of metal. Once it reaches this point, with the legs unable to consistently grasp this section as it starts spasming, it falls to the side, flailing wildly. The tail connects a hit with the compressed section, breaking it off and causing a shockwave that would have sent Anna flying if Riku hadn't grabbed her. The monster then falls into the water below, still giving out its horrible sound as it splashes loudly into the water. Some loud bubbling accompanying the distorted bellow is heard before everything goes silent.

"So that's what the real thing feels like," Anna remarks.

"Yeah," Riku responds, unphased, "That wasn't quite the hardest one I've ever faced before."

"Really?" asks Anna.

"Yeah," Riku replies, "Out of hundreds, this was maybe middle of the road. You did great, but you need to work on your reflexes. Big time."

"I'm sorry, Riku," Anna apologizes, lowering her head.

"Don't apologize to me," Riku says, gently pushing her chin up, "Besides, we're heroes now."

"Heroes?" Anna asks, her face going neutral.

"We just saved about four dozen people from the Heartless," Riku states, "Can't you hear them all clapping and cheering behind us?"

"Wow, really?" Anna asks, listening for a second, "...you're right," she says, starting to smile.

"Come on, smile! Wave!" Riku insists, faking enthusiasm and holding back his gag reflex, "Walk proud! We're the big darn heroes and we just destroyed an even bigger monster!" With that, Riku and Anna turn around, smiling and waving as they walk to their thankful rescuees. They only take a dozen paces before a huge rumble nearly shakes them. They both only manage to stay on by holding each other's arms. With successive loud cracking noises followed by large splashes, the track starts to sink at an angle. All the cheers of the people in the train turn to screams of panic.

"No, no, no, no," Riku says in rapid fire, "Not now."

"What's happening, Riku?" Anna asks, her look of joy changing to one of concern almost immediately.

"It's not dead," Riku responds, "We need to get to the train FAST." With that, Riku starts dashing as fast as he can. Anna follows suit, almost losing her balance as she starts running along the thin pathway. Riku hops over the train, followed by Anna. However, as Anna jumped, another large shockwave resonated through the rail and the track sunk quite a bit, sending the train rolling. She ends up tripping over the edge of the train, slamming her into the ceiling. Riku runs across the roof of the first two, slides on the third, and drops off behind the train while stabbing his keyblade through the linking frame into the track. With a loud grinding noise and a lot of sparks, he just barely manages to stop the train's descent.

"Owwwww," Anna says, picking herself up. That was definitely going to leave a mark.

"Anna, what do you see down there?" Riku shouts over the screams of the passengers, bracing the keyblade with all his strength

"Wha?" asks Anna before she processes the question. She then looks down just in time to see the monster climb up the support platform across from them and leap onto the sinking track, causing another shockwave.

"The monster just leapt across to our... thingy," Anna responds. As she said this, shockwaves resonate through the structure as the monster starts flailing its tail on it. The track keeps sinking gradually with each impact, bending under the pressure. Anna hops over to the last car and looks down to Riku. Even with the keyblade sideways, it was cutting through the track ever so gradually as the train pulled down.

"Anna," Riku starts, "I need you to take my place here. I can destroy the monster, but something needs to hold this up."

"No, Riku," Anna responds.

"You have to trust me," Riku instructs.

"I don't trust myself," Anna replies, "My reflexes are poor and I'd definitely miss that frame."

"Anna, please," Riku requests.

"I'll take care of the monster," Anna responds, getting on her feet and turning around.

"No, Anna, don't," Riku instructs. Anna gives a thumbs up in the same goofy style that Sora does without any change in facial expression, then dives arms first towards the monster. As she sails towards the monster on its nearly vertical section of track, it opens its mouth wide to catch her. Anna, however, had a plan. She does an implausible aerial acrobatic, relocating almost thirty feet and ending up above the range of the monster's mouth. She slashes her keyblade downwards, going right through the jaw, cranium, and midway through the back of the monster before she grabs one of the fins, hanging on.

The monster goes still for a couple seconds before it loses its grip on the track, starting with its front legs. The monster tilts backwards, losing its grasp with the back legs as it falls, Anna still on board. She makes a few cuts in the back of the monster, dives in, and within less than a second, the belly bursts open with a huge geyser of high pressure water and Anna riding it. Upon this, the monster burst into a billion sparks of light before vanishing.

"I am so glad I numbed the fear receptors in her brain," Riku comments to himself. Anna rises up to the dangling train car, stabbing at it with her keyblade... and not quite reaching. She then falls, making several more tries to stab into the track before finally hitting it. However, since she had the blade downwards, it starts slicing through as she continues to fall. Each of the internal cross-sections slows her down a slight bit before she finally reaches the end of the track, the compressed section stopping her blade's trajectory. She ends up hanging there, carefully trying to prevent the blade from sliding out but causing it to slightly cut further with every movement.

With little choice, she tries a desperate maneuver. Carefully keeping the blade level, she slowly moves the other side of her body towards the track and searches for something to grab. She finds a notch that isn't quite enough to hang from but which allowed her to transfer some of the weight. Carefully propping herself against the track, she slowly maneuvers her knee onto the handle, carefully sliding her hand out as she balances with her leg and right arm. She slowly slides forward, making a small hop when her foot reaches the handle to stand on it. Slowly rising up while leaning against the track, she puts her other foot on the blade. Just as she felt the keyblade starting to move, she does a jump right before it slid out of the track. Summoning it back at the height of the jump, she stabs it back into the track, sideways this time. Anna does a couple upward swings and stabs using this method to reach the train. She eventually reaches the train and climbs over it back to Riku.

"Welcome back," Riku says, blankly.

"Thank you," Anna replies, a bit fazed, "What are we going to do now?"

"I don't know," Riku replies, "Wait for deus ex machina, I guess."

"...huh?" Anna asks, trying to figure out what he just said.

"Some implausible but necessary thing to solve this problem," Riku clarifies.

"What if I bring everybody out here?" Anna asks.

"Average person will fall off from the wind alone," Riku responds, making Anna realize just how windy it really was up there.

"What if we get them into this end and cut off the other parts?" Anna asks, "Then we can pull them back."

"I'm only holding the keyblade in place," Riku responds, "We're not strong enough to move this train, three cars or one."

"What if I... what are those metal things flying towards us?" Anna asks, noticing a couple coast guard helicopters inbound.

"Deus ex machina," Riku responds, waving towards them with his free hand. Just at that opportune moment, the frame that his keyblade was stuck through snapped. Anna quickly tried to stop the train, but she ended up stabbing through the same section that had just given way. The train noisily slides down the track, punctuated by the horrified screams of a couple dozen people. As the train collides into the water, Anna gives a look of sheer dismay. Riku, however, doesn't look too different from normal in spite of the fact that it affected him just as much.

"Those poor people," Anna says, dropping down to her knees in a subdued sorrowful reaction.

"This has never happened before," Riku comments, watching the bubbling of the water. As the blades of the helicopters grow louder, he pulls out his communicator, "Two for emergency recall."

"Wha?" asks Anna as they both phase out.


	12. Monsters 0 Matchbook Romance

In the other part of the train, Sora and Misa are still sitting idly holding each other. Through her cunning lies and emotional outbreaks, she has kept Sora from catching onto the reality of the situation. Sora was getting a bit antsy, though.

"Are you sure that was normal back there?" Sora asks, "I thought I heard things on the roof."

"The train has some quirks," Misa responds, while the automated P.A. system announces their stop in the background, "It's normal."

"I still think we should ch-" Sora starts before getting cut off by Misa crying loudly again.

"The whole world hates me!" Misa shouts, bawling more tears.

"I'm sorry," Sora consoles, "Please, calm down." With that, Misa pulls him right up against her.

"You think you understand?" she whispers in his ear before violently shaking him, disguising her transfer of an object into his pockets, "Do you?!"

"Misa, I-" Sora starts, getting shoved away by Misa.

"You're so selfish!" she shouts, overdoing it a little, "You don't care about me!"

"Mis-" Sora attempts again.

"I hate you!" Misa shouts, kicking Sora down. Due to the sheer amount of time he had been holding her wrist, he didn't immediately let go. Misa bites his hand until he finally relinquishes her just in time for the train doors to open. She runs out crying.

"Misa, wait!" Sora shouts after her, getting up and running out to find a half circle of tightly packed men holding clear shields and SMGs all pointed at him. A dozen red dots start swarming all over Sora's chest as a very bright spotlight shines directly in his eyes. As he holds up a hand to block the light, he notices Misa being escorted by a couple police men, still weeping uncontrollably as she goes down the stairs. Unfortunately, he failed to notice the man hiding under the tracks come up behind him...

...

"...the recently finished monorail had another setback due to what can only be described as a monster attack. Details of this attack remain sketchy, but witnesses and videos clearly show inky black creatures climb up the tracks and attack the train. In an equally bizarre turn of events, two passengers without any special equipment except for what appeared to be ornamental swords fought against them. They managed to drive off these unidentified creatures, but were unable to stop the train from falling into the water. They vanished moments later before they could be questioned. Luckily, the coast guard was able to get all 41 passengers out alive. Authorities are baffled by this turn of events, unable to find a connection between this and the arrest of an unidentified male in his early twenties that made an attempted kidnapping of famed model turned actress Misa Amane. In other news..."

Light turns off the television. This turn of events displeased him, but it still worked out in the end. While the Heartless ran rampant and attacked not just a decent number of innocent civilians but also the very person Ami wanted out of her insane love, they triumphed in the end. It was merely luck that nobody got killed... guess it just wasn't their time yet. Light continues poring over his latest chart, filling in more details. A few minutes later, a sound from the computer indicated that he had received an email. Perfect timing.

Meanwhile, at the police station, Sora has just finished getting strapped down into a chair by masked men. Just like the last potential Kira they arrested, they weren't taking any chances. Sora was put in a straight jacket and strapped down by dozens of thick leather belts. The room was featureless and cramped, with just barely enough space . He hadn't been blindfolded due to their belief that they needed to intimidate him, keeping everything he sees very imposing and threatening. He's left to sweat for a minute before he starts rambling.

"I told you everything already," Sora talks to nobody in particular, "I'm Sora, the former keyblade master. I came here with my friends Riku and Anna to fight the Heartless. That girl lied to me about having psychic powers and forced me to drag her to that train station. I swear, it's all true."

"Riku and Anna..." muses a voice coming from somewhere, "Describe them for us."

"Riku is tall, white hair, wears a yellow outfit," Sora describes, "Anna is pretty short but she has aquamarine hair and wears a red and white pastel outfit last I saw her."

"Do they have ornamental swords?" asks the voice.

"Keyblades, yes," Sora responds.

"Those two were sighted during the unidentified creature attack," the voice answers.

"That's them!" Sora shouts, "See, I'm telling the truth!"

"We cannot confirm the rest of your story based on your knowledge of the involved parties," responds the voice.

"But it's the honest-to-god truth!" Sora exclaims.

"We're looking for facts, Mr. 'Sora,'" the voice answers, placing sarcastic emphasis on the name, "The facts we have show that you kidnapped Miss Amane, created a disturbance of some sort at the mall, and forcefully dragged Amane by the arm to the train station."

"That's not true!" yells Sora, "The Heartless attacked the mall. Don't you have any records of that?"

"All the records in the mall were destroyed by your associate," the voice responds.

"I told you, I have no 'associate'. I didn't kidnap Misa."

"Please stop lying to us. All the evidence we have points to you. What we don't understand is why you were so careless."

"This is total b-" Sora starts, getting interrupted by the loud clang of the door opening. A figure walks in and shuts it behind him, making some loud jamming noises.

"Detective Hiyashi, what is the meaning behind this?" the voice asks of the figure behind Sora. The detective walks in front of Sora, drops a phone on his lap, jumps up, and rips out a camera hidden in the ceiling. With that, the man then comes to his senses.

"I don't know, Comm- urgh!" he yells, grasping his heart. Sora watches in horror as the man falls to the ground. Within a couple seconds after he stopped moving, his body dissipates into blackness, leaving behind an inky black creature about three feet tall. It looks around the room, noticing Sora within a few seconds. It jumps up to attack him, but before it can sink its claws in, it stops. It instead picks up the cell phone the detective dropped, jumps onto Sora's lap, holds it right in front of Sora's chest, and starts tapping in numbers. However, with such stubby claws, it didn't quite seem to get what it wanted. It furrows its brow and tries again. Sora stares at it incredulously.

"Not that I want to die, Mr. Heartless," Sora starts, "But wouldn't it be more efficient for you to just rip me apart?"

The Heartless hisses at Sora, punching him unconscious before continuing its haphazard key tapping. Another apparent failure later, it gets its head right up to it and starts methodically pressing keys. The sound of a torch cutting through steel resonates behind Sora as this creature starts looking extremely frustrated. The Heartless fails again, nearly smashing the phone before regaining composure and tapping the buttons again.

Meanwhile, two men with masks and handguns wait outside as a third masked man cuts through the door. With the door unhinged, the third man takes a battering ram to it and smashes it forward... and promptly get blown back by a moderate explosion. A nearby gas pipe got caught in the explosion, creating a small chain reaction that ignites the whole room on fire while igniting the man. The other two, unable to act due to the rapidly spreading flames, quickly run away as the fire alarm starts blaring.

...

Ami skips along the hallway with glee. She got just what she wanted and she was going to reward Light quite amply for his dedicated work. Grasping a small gift wrapped box, she walks up to the door and knocks. Light answers it, a mixture of disappointment and nausea on his face. He was holding a wet towel to his head.

"Liiiiight-kuuuuun!" Ami exclaims, throwing herself around him. His expression gains a hint of disdain.

"Get off of me," Light coldly states, "We talked about this already."

"Why such a sourpuss, Light?" Ami asks flirtily as she rubs her chin on his shoulder.

"Aren't you here for some other man?" Light asks, an icy chill in his voice.

"Who says I can't have my very own ha-" Ami starts, getting shoved off forcibly by Light. Ami stares incredulously at Light, who weakly walks to the sofa and lies down on it, draping the towel over his forehead.

"What's wrong, Light-kun?" Ami asks, "Sora is dead just like we planned."

"No, he isn't," Light replies.

"But... how?" Ami asks, "I saw the news. His cell blew up and they found a burned corpse with two people missing."

"The corpse is a police officer that had nothing to do with the plan," Light explains, "The two missing people are the pawn detective and Sora."

"But you said everything was going perfectly when you called," Ami interjects.

"Everything was perfect," Light starts, "The Yakuza explosives expert created the device and deposited it in the mall on time. Misa got in with the group and separated Sora from the others."

"Why did you let the Heartless attack my darling Riku?" Ami interrupts.

"They went into a frenzy when they saw Riku and Anna," Light responds, "It took all my effort just to prevent them from attacking Sora and Misa. Nobody died in the end, at least. Just a couple billion yen in property damage and a huge controversy."

"But Sora got captured," Ami interjects.

"That, he did," Light responds, "Just as planned, he got isolated into a high threat interrogation cell with him heavily strapped down. My corrupt officer got ahold of the phone before forensics could analyze it further and diffuse it. He got in the cell, locked himself inside, disabled the camera, and died, leaving me a Heartless to control. Everything went exactly as planned."

"Then what happened?" Ami asks, sounding highly doubtful of Light.

"That's what I want to ask you," Light responds, "He vanished just as I got the explosion off."

"What?!" Ami exclaims.

"As horrible as the eye sight of that Heartless was," Light explains, "I definitely saw Sora vanish just before I could key in the code with those horrible Heartless motor skills."

"You failed me!" Ami yells at him.

"I did not fail!" Light shouts back, catching himself and regaining his composure, "The plan was perfect. The plan went perfectly. I sacrificed two trump cards I was saving for a rainy day. The Heartless nearly killed innocent people while wrecking a monorail in very plain view. Controlling that Heartless so directly has made me physically sick and clouded my mind. The whole plan was distasteful, being high profile and requiring potential evidence. I haven't slept in over 24 hours. I did all this for your insane infatuation, so don't give me that snippy attitude."

"And I was going to make you my warlock apprentice," Ami retorts, tearing open the package to reveal a wand and thick book. She throws both on the coffee table in front of Light.

"That's interesting," Light thinks as he sees the items, "Magic powers would be beneficial to Kira, but there are too many unknowns. I also do not trust this psychotic woman to be my mentor and the potential of people finding out something is strange with me is too high. As tempting as it is, I'll pass."

"I pass," Light answers.

"Good, because you're not getting it!" exclaims Ami, taking her wand out from somewhere and setting the items on a green blaze. They burn away into nothingness, not even so much as singing the table they were on.

"Do you still want my help?" Light asks, "Because I still want to get rid of the Heartless. They're too volatile to control now." Ami starts to stay something before she stops, calming herself down. She ponders for a minute before responding.

"Yes," Ami responds, "But we do this my way."

"How do you want to handle this?" Light responds.

"I join their group," Ami responds, "I separate Riku from those other two. You send every Heartless to kill Sora."

"I accept," Light responds, getting up, "But a few conditions. First, this has to be at night in a nearby condemned apartment complex. Second, once you get what you want, you have to both fix the Heartless problem AND leave this world forever."

"But... I'll never see you again," Ami says, tears welling up in her eyes.

"That's the idea," Light responds, dryly. He slowly walks over to the kitchen to douse his towel with fresh water.

"I refuse," Ami says.

"If you don't find these terms favorable, I can just contact Riku to handle this problem for me," Light bluffs, "I'll also tell him what you had me do."

"But I thought you loved me," Ami says, crying geysers.

"I don't see how anything I have said or done suggested that either directly or in subtext," Light responds coldly.

"How could you?" Ami says, lowering her voice in indignance, "You mean everything to me."

"I have my own life," Light answers, walking back to the couch, "You can't just barge in and expect me to dump my girlfriend and job because you fell in love at first sight."

"I can share," she states.

"You can either accept my plan and walk out with Riku," Light starts as he plops down, "...maybe. I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised if he has the same feelings I do about you. Or you can lose both of us. Either way, the Heartless will be fixed and I can continue my life... without you."

"I can't believe you're doing this to me," Ami responds, wiping the tears from her eyes, "But if there's no other way... I accept."

"That's a good girl," Light responds, sarcastically, "I'll leave it up to you to find them. Here, let me draw up a map to the place." With that, he grabs the pad of paper from the table and draws out a fairly simple map with directions.

"Thank you," Ami responds, still sounding disappointed.

"I'm calling my associates to pick me up," Light says, grabbing the wireless phone from the table, "Don't forget anything on the way out."

"Good bye," she says, walking out of the door. Light could hear her start to weep even more as she walked down the hall. Oh, well.


	13. Sunglasses at Night 0 Corey Hart

Sora slowly opens his eyes, looking around the room. It takes him a second before his eyes focus, allowing him to see that he's lying on the bed in the medical room of the Gummi Ship. Anna peeks her head right over him from behind.

"Welcome back, Sora," Anna says, giving a cheerful smile.

"What happened?" Sora asks, getting up.

"Riku!" Anna yells off to the side. Sora notices the torn straight jacket lying on the table.

"Oh, now I remember..." Sora trails off as Riku enters the room.

"Remember what?" Riku asks.

"The police thought I kidnapped Misa," Sora answers.

"She set you up," Riku responds, "I should have figured it out immediately, but I was just trying to help you."

"Help me?" Sora asks.

"Nevermind," Riku responds, "So, what happened in there? You came in unconscious."

"I was interrogated in this small, featureless room," Sora responds, "They didn't believe anything I said. Shortly after they started, this man walked in, did something to the door, dropped a phone on my lap, tore out the security camera, then died."

"Died?" Riku asks.

"He clutched his chest and fell down," Sora answers, "Anyway, this man's body dissolved into a Shadow Heartless, but this one was different. It stopped itself from attacking me, picked up the phone, got on my lap, and started pressing buttons."

"What?" Riku asks.

"I tried talking with it, but it punched me," Sora continues, "Then I woke up here."

"I can't believe you got sucker punched by a Shadow," Riku chides.

"Hey, I'm a normal person now," Sora responds, indignant.

"Whatever you say," Riku responds, rolling his eyes.

"Anything happen with you guys?" Sora asks.

"Oh, the Heartless attacked the train, cut off our cars, and then invaded," Riku responds, "We fought them, but some huge one started wrecking the track. Anna killed it, but we weren't able to save the train."

"Wow, really?" Sora asks.

"She was incredible," Riku says. Sora looks over at Anna, who starts giving off a luminescent blush before she looks down and turns away.

"It was nothing, really," Anna says, quietly, "I couldn't save those people. I failed."

"Anna," responds Sora, "I messed up a ton when I was new. You're fine."

"Are you sure?" Anna asks.

"Positive," Sora responds, "How big was it, anyway?"

"It was huge," Anna responds, looking back up, "It was almost as big as the train. It had a huge mouth with hundreds of rapier sharp teeth."

"And you killed it?" Sora asks.

"Riku helped, but I finished it off," Anna responds, still looking away as she blushes.

"That's great, Anna," Sora says, giving a cheerful expression, "I was worried you'd make my same mistakes, but you've adapted so well to this."

"Thank you, Sora," Anna responds, turning to face him.

"Did you lock the world's heart?" Sora asks.

"Wha?" Anna replies.

"No, she didn't," Riku answers for her.

"Well, let's fix that," Sora states, getting off of the bed.

"You really want to go back there?" Riku asks.

"Yeah... why?" Sora asks.

"You're not worried the police might be looking for us?" Riku asks.

"Nah," Sora answers, "We'll be fine. We can recall out if we're spotted and come back somewhere else."

"Well... yeah, you're right," Riku admits.

"Shall we?" asks Sora to both Riku and Anna.

...

In a dark alleyway near the main plaza, our three heroes flash into existence. They quickly search around the area to make sure they're alone before they start talking with each other.

"Okay, now what?" Riku asks.

"We can exit over there," Sora says as he motions in the direction of a huge amount of light. The three of them approach it, stopping just at the end when they notice a reflection on the window across the walkway. There was a TV shop they were about to exit near, the audio traveling through as the screens showed Sora's mug shot.

"...believed to have a connection with the bombing of the police headquarters. In related news, police have also put an APB out for two material witnesses of the Monorail Crisis from this morning. If you see any of these people, please contact the authorities as soon as possible. Do not attempt to apprehend them."

"We'll be fiiiiine,'" Riku mocks, giving a poor Sora impression.

"Let's go out the other way," Sora starts, turning around. When he does this, he finds himself face to face with a wide smiling purple haired girl. Sora gives out a yelp of surprise before she casually shoves him down. She then proceeds to throw herself onto Riku.

"I found you, my darling Riiiikuuuuuuu!" she says. Riku, as shocked as he was, managed to not so much as even flinch.

"Hello, Ami," Riku responds, coldly.

"Aww, you even said my name right," Ami responds, rubbing her head on his shoulder.

"Who are you?" Anna asks.

"Who are YOU?" Ami asks back, glaring at Anna. Anna starts to respond before Ami cuts her off, "So, Riku, what brings you here?"

"The Heartless," Riku states.

"What a coincidence!" Ami exclaims, "That's why I'm here, too!"

"Oh, wow," Riku says, unenthused.

"I know where they are," Ami starts, detaching herself from Riku, "Let's team up!"

"Just what I wanted," Riku sarcastically quips, "But I'm sort of with Sora and Anna here."

"Those two can come along," Ami says in an emotionally blank way.

"Well, then," Riku says, trying to mask his emotions, "Lead the way." Sora starts staring at him dumbfounded while Anna just looks befuddled.

"Okay!" Ami exclaims, turning around and leading. Riku follows, with it taking a couple seconds before Sora and Anna skip a little to catch up. Sora taps Riku's shoulder, signaling him to lag a little so they can have a conversation.

"What are you doing?" Sora whispers.

"Play along and don't say anything," Riku whispers back.

"But-" Sora starts, getting cut off when Riku muffles him with his hand.

"How far to this place, Ami?" Riku asks, letting Sora go.

"About six miles, but don't worry!" Ami says, cheerfully, as she stops in front of a fire escape, "We can rooftop hop!"

"Wha?" asks Anna. Ami just ignores her.

"I don't know how good of an idea that is," Riku responds.

"Oh, yeah," Ami says, materializing a keyblade and making a copy to toss to Riku. Sora starts staring mouth agape at him.

"You should go first, Ami," Riku suggests, "Make sure the coast is clear."

"Okay, Riku-kun!" she says, hopping up the fire escape. She vanished out of range, with Sora still just staring at Riku.

"I was misleading when I doubted the ability to transfer the keyblade," Riku says, "I've done it before. It finds its way back to you if the person dies, though." Sora continues staring. "I didn't feel like training somebody," Riku adds. Sora is still just staring. "Anna, give Sora a copy keyblade, please," Riku requests. Anna complies, drawing her keyblade, creating a copy, and handing it over. Sora takes it without even looking at her. "Relax. We have a job to do," Riku finishes.

"It's clear, Riku-kun," Ami shouts down.

"We'll be right up," Riku says. He smacks Sora in the back of the head, causing him to stumble forward. Sora snaps back to reality as he regains his composure.

"Why, Riku?" Sora asks.

"'She'll sacrifice herself for the greater good in less than a week,'" Riku repeats, "And I wanted a vacation to normalcy. Just like you."

"Whatever," Sora says, climbing the fire escape by hopping on the balcony to a higher windowsill to a higher balcony and so forth. Riku and Anna follow suit. Once on the roof, they and Ami all hop from rooftop to rooftop, dropping down after a period of time and walking a block to the outskirts of the city. They stop at the gate of a condemned network of about twenty buildings, each four stories tall and connected by a variety of walkways.

"Here we are," Ami says, slashing the chains off of the gate and kicking the "Hazardous Area: No Trespassing" sign to force it open, "Let's split up into pairs."

"That's a very bad idea," Anna responds. Ami eyeballs her for a few seconds before walking over. She starts walking around Anna, touching and analyzing various parts of her costume. Two circles later, Ami stands right in front of Anna and gets right face to face with her. She first analyzes Anna's eye balls, then lifts up a lock of her hair to look at the roots, then runs two fingers across the forehead and tastes them. Anna, as outraged as she was, found herself unable to move as Ami examined her.

"Riku," Ami starts, shoving Anna away as she turns towards him, "Is this the person you've been travelling with?"

"Yes," responds Riku, "Why?"

"Why are you travelling with her?" Ami asks, "Her hair is dyed, her eyes are brown, and she doesn't even exude any natural perfume. She's unworthy of your presence."

"You have brown eyes, too," Riku responds, cool as the other side of the pillow.

"No!" Ami yells, squinting her eyes in frustration, "I have kaleidoscope eyes! They change to fit my mood and nothing, **nothing** is brown!"

"They look brown to me," Riku replies, not so much as even changing his tone. Ami draws a mirror out from somewhere nobody was looking and analyzes her face in it. She's taken aback by her brown eyes, blinking hard several times until they change to a luminescent purple. She puts the mirror away and turns to Riku.

"No more brown," she says, smiling.

"Not quite," Riku responds. Ami whips the mirror out again and nearly screams when she sees her eyes are brown again. She spends a good twenty seconds blinking as hard as she can but no matter what she did, they wouldn't change. She starts weeping.

"I'm no longer the most beautiful person in the universe," she cries out. Riku sighs and starts scoping out the buildings with Anna and Sora. Ami suddenly stops crying, wiping the tears off her face, "No, I am perfect. Light was so far beneath me, even he recognized it." Suddenly, her eyes start glowing purple again, shifting to blue as she catches up with the others.

"No more brown!" Ami shouts as she gets right up behind Riku.

"Good for you," Riku responds, not even bothering to turn to her. She starts massaging his shoulders, prompting him to shove her away.

"We need to split up," Ami starts, her eye color changing to green as she fixes her outfit, "There's a mirror Heartless in there. It's at two opposite sides of the building. We have to kill both and keep them stabbed at the same time."

"I guess we do," Riku starts, cutting off Sora from saying something, "You can go with Sora."

"No!" Ami says, folding her arms, closing her eyes, and turning away.

"Fine, then you can go with Anna," Riku responds, "She could use some estrogen in her life."

"That normal girl?" Ami responds, making a scoffing noise, "No, I'm going with you, Riku." Riku moves close to Sora.

"Sora," Riku whispers, "I'll distract her. Find the Heartless and kill it. If I don't rejoin you within half an hour, get to the ship and emergency recall me. I'll try to stay in this general area."

"Okay," Sora whispers back, not sure of what is going on.

"Why all the silence, Riku-kun?" Ami asks, turning around. Riku walks up and puts his head right beside Ami's, causing her to start smiling ecstatically.

"I was telling Sora how to not mess up with Anna's training," he whispers to her. He then steps to her side to face Sora and Anna.

"Okay," Ami starts, enthusiastically, as she pulls out a notepad and starts reading it, "You two, go..." Ami starts spinning her finger in the air before she points somewhere, "...to the east side courtyard. Be careful not to let any of the pinkish plants touch your skin."

"What do they do?" Anna asks.

"How should I know?" Ami asks with a tone of indignance before catching herself, "They just look wrong. Riku and I are going to the west side. Shall we?"

"Sure," Riku says.

"Okay!" Ami says, grabbing Riku's arm and dragging him along. Riku mouths something to Sora before he starts willfully walking with her. They walk through a few pathways, avoiding the pinkish plants and entering a building. Ami leads him upstairs and to a door.

"Riku, you enter first and check for the Heartless," Ami instructs, "I'll stay here to make sure nothing locks us in."

"These are flimsy doors," Riku responds, "They wouldn't do much to keep us in."

"Please, Riku," Ami says, nudging him forward.

"Fine, whatever," Riku says, opening the door and walking inside. The first section of the apartment just contains a bunch of abandoned furniture and some advanced monitoring equipment. He walks to the next part, finding an elaborate bed room surrounded by incense candles. It doesn't take him long before he notices that it's been set up recently, with a shudder going through him when he realizes what's going on. He hears the door slam, with the sound of a heavy object being shoved and his keyblade vanishing from his hand.

"I have you now, my kareshiiiiiii!" Ami dreamily shouts as she skips through the room...


	14. Hero 0 Chad Kroeger

Meanwhile, on the other side of the complex, Sora and Anna are walking along towards their specified location. Anna looks a bit worried while Sora looks more annoyed than anything.

"Sora," Anna starts, "I think this is a trap."

"Gee, no way," Sora answers, sarcastically.

"Wait, you know this is a trap?" Anna asks.

"Don't you remember Ami?" Sora asks, "Back at your home town?"

"...I can't say I do," Anna responds, lost in thought.

"Well," starts Sora, "she's a very psychotic, dangerous girl that fell in love with Riku at first sight. She views me as some sort of... threat against her. Don't ask me why. And now she has us separated, probably to kidnap Riku and/or kill us."

"And we're going to let this happen?" Anna asks, sounding disturbed by Sora's lack of concern.

"She's an idiot," Sora answers, "She didn't even set this up herself. This probably led us to the Heartless master of this world, which makes this an ideal situation for us. I can't help but wonder where Misa fits in all of this, though."

"Oh, I get it now," Anna responds. They get within sight of the courtyard before Sora stops, putting his arm up to get Anna to stop as well.

"Okay, before we do this," Sora starts, "Let's set up a plan. Assuming that the Heartless are all set for an ambush, it would be best to lead them onto the rooftop. Less hiding places for them to come from. We'll go in, draw them out, and wall bounce between these two buildings to get to the roof."

"Then what?" Anna asks.

"We fight until they're all dead," Sora answers.

"Sounds like a plan," Anna responds. They both run out and assume ready positions near the fountain. Just as predicted, the Heartless start swarming out from every corner, consisting mostly of Shadows, Soldiers, and a rare couple Neoshadows. Sora and Anna start cutting their way through them towards the alley, careful not to let any jump on them from behind. Once they reach the alley, they bounce from side to side and get on the roof, the Heartless all climbing the side of the building. At the top of the building, they fight like there's no tomorrow as wave after wave of Heartless come out. After about fifteen minutes of endured assault, the waves stop.

"Is that it?" Anna asks, tired.

"Wait for it," Sora responds. Just a couple seconds later, an eight foot tall Heartless hovers up from the side. It was a bipedal creature with black wings, adorned with black rags and oozing a black fog around it. Carrying a huge scythe and a collegiate notebook, it gave off a feeling of decay with its very presence.

"About time," Sora responds, cynically. The creature gives off a sound that vaguely approximates laughing before it rushes them. Sora and Anna dodge to different sides, narrowly avoiding the half-circle scythe swipe it made. It lands where they were standing, turning around to face Sora. Its wild swings at Sora are lithely dodged as both move towards an edge. It diverts its focus when Anna starts slicing through it, hitting her back and turning the focus of its wild swings at her. Sora runs in and slices it a few times, causing it to turn and swing at him. Repeat a couple times until it jumps off the side and flies in a circle around the building. It gets progressively further away from the building before it then dive bombs our heroes, who barely manage to avoid it. It flies back out, continuing its circle, and making another dive bomb attempt. It deftly avoids all fire balls thrown at it, continuing its dive bomb attempts.

"Oh, for the love of..." Sora says, walking over to the absolute center of the roof. Anna follows, unsure of what Sora was planning. Shinigami-Heartless makes another dive bomb attempt, but while Anna dodges it, Sora instead blocks with his keyblade. Sora gets launched up and backwards from the blow, with the Shinigami-Heartless zooming in on him.

"Sora!" Anna shouts as the Shinigami-Heartless makes a swing. Sora parries it, causing a large blue flash and launching him vertically up. The S-H keeps zooming in with swing attempts from all angles, each getting parried with a blue flash. With Sora about six hundred feet above the roof, it draws back under him, getting ready for a big maneuver. As Sora starts falling, the S-H zooms in for some epic move only for Sora to "hop" in mid-air out of its path and slash right through its back. Sora lands on the roof as the S-H falls, recovering just before it lands and taking a position just over the edge of a side.

"Sooorrrraaaa..." hisses the Shinigami-Heartless in a raspy voice as our heroes wait for it to make a move, "Sorasorasorasorasorasorasorasora," it starts constantly repeating as it places the notebook in front of it. With the book hovering, it produces a pen out of nowhere and furiously writes inside of the book. When it finishes, black tendrils of energy materialize around Sora and wrap around him, causing him to levitate about 40 feet above the roof as he struggles to break free. The book hovers to meet him, causing white sparks of energy to flow from Sora into the book, draining color from him.

Anna, sensing that this was a very, very bad thing, attempts to jump and slash through the book. She gets blocked by the Shinigami-Heartless, which flies in and takes a swipe at her. She parries, but gets knocked back in the process. The S-H keeps aggressively moving in on her, keeping Anna too occupied to get to Sora. Anna eventually finds a break in its defense and slashes through, stunning the S-H as she runs towards the book. Before she could jump at the book, the S-H zooms in and knocks Anna away. It continues its frenzied slashes at her, eventually faltering and affording Anna another slash. She tries to get at the book again, but the S-H blocks her again.

Anna figures out that getting at the book was difficult at best with the S-H like this. When the S-H leaves itself open again, she takes the opportunity to get behind it. The S-H, seeing what it views as an opening, does a vertical circle slash. Anna hops up and blocks it with her keyblade, causing a blue flash and for her to be launched back and up. As she passed the book, she sliced it, making it burst into a rain of pieces of paper. As it burst, a huge gathering of sparks flew out and back into the nearly drained Sora, restoring his color and freeing him of the black tendrils. He collapses to the ground, getting back up after coughing violently for a few seconds.

"Are you okay, Sora?" Anna asks. Sora nods and assumes a ready position. The S-H, glowing crimson red with anger, starts gathering energy into its scythe.

"See what I see, Anna?" Sora asks, changing his position ever so slightly.

"Yes," Anna responds, getting next to Sora and assuming a similar position. The S-H rushes them, attempting to take a swing... but getting parried by both Sora and Anna at the same time. This launches the scythe vertically fifty feet, during which time, Sora and Anna do a dual diagonal slice that pushes the S-H back just as the scythe starts to fall back down. They both catch the scythe, then working together, they swing the massive thing and stab right into the chest of the S-H. With the huge scythe having impaled it, the Shinigami-Heartless lets out a shriek as it starts bursting into light. As it exploded into a shower of sparks, a heart-shaped object rises into the air before dissolving into nothingness.

"Good job, Anna," Sora praises.

"Thank you, Sora," Anna responds, getting bashful and turning from him, "But are you sure I did fine? I needed your help just like I needed Riku's."

"You did fine even when I was being drained," Sora responded, "I'm sure you'd have found a way even without my help."

"Thank you," Anna responds, turning back and bowing her head to him.

"Anna, look behind you," Sora says as he desummons his copy keyblade, making it sound as casual as possible. Anna turns to see a key-shaped portal to some windy, cloudy area.

"What's that?" Anna asks, staring at it.

"Just follow your instincts," Sora responds. With that, there's a flash of light and Anna is floating in this area. As she hangs there, she approaches a large heart-shaped object. She instinctually waves the keyblade around a few times before holding it out in front of her, a beam coming out of it. It hits this object, making a locking sound. Another flash of light and Anna is back in the regular world.


	15. Arterial Black 0 Drist

"Noooooo!" shouts a feminine voice from behind, "I hate you, Sora!" Sora turns around to get hit by a pink bolt of energy, getting shoved onto his back by the force of the impact. Anna summons her keyblade and turns to face this person, finding herself face to face with Ami. Before she can attack, Ami glares at her, making her lock up. Riku finishes climbing the fire escape on the side, vigorously wiping his forehead with a handkerchief.

"Why can't I move?" Anna struggles to say as Ami walks towards Sora, pausing by Anna.

"Normals can't touch me, silly," Ami says with her wide smiling face just a little too close, patting Anna on the cheek. She then turns to face Sora, who is still on the ground reeling, "You're so mean! Why can't you die like a good boy?"

"What is the meaning of this?" Riku asks, feigning as much shock as he can, "Do you mean to tell me you were just distracting me so the Heartless can kill Sora?"

"That baka yaro Sora brainwashed you to spite me!" Ami shouts, turning to face Riku. Riku tosses aside the lightish-red handkerchief.

"No, I genuinely hate you," Riku responds.

"Lies!" Ami shouts, "Sora is jealous of us and wanted to keep you away out of spite."

"No," Riku responds, "You're the bad person here. You tried to get Sora killed. Were you responsible for the earlier attacks, too?"

"I did what I had to do to save you!" Ami responds.

"Have you ever stopped to think about anything?" Riku starts, "You know, use that thing underneath that purple hair and behind those brown... sorry, I mean 'multi-color' eyes?"

"I thought all of this through," Ami retorts, squinting her brown eyes in frustration.

"What, your plan that killed innocent civilians?" Riku responds.

"Who cares about normals?" Ami says, doing a backwards kick in Anna's knee to force her down, "I was perfect!"

"You were terrible," Riku responds.

"I was perfect and you know it!" Ami states.

"Perfection is boring," Riku starts, "I've had it up to here with perfection. People like you make perfection utterly mundane."

"What was wrong with me?" Ami asks, "I can be better. I can improve. I can think about what you want more."

"You're selfish," Riku responds, "You don't care about anyone but yourself. Not me, certainly not my friends."

"I'm not friends with demons and normals and neither are you," Ami starts.

"You're just a vapid shell," Riku starts, "Queen of the superficial. Nobody can relate you. You exist only to be so utterly perfect that everybody feels bad in comparison. You're not based in reality. Your very existence is a plague."

"That's it!" Ami shouts, "If you're going to be so mean, you can't have me!"

"I never wanted you!" Riku retorts.

"I know it breaks your heart to lose someone like me," Ami starts, "But no amount of crawling and begging will make me consider you again."

"Good! You finally get it!" Riku says, cynicism oozing.

"I have nothing left to say to you, Riku-chan," Ami starts, turning to the kneeling but freshly released Anna, "Anna, why did you join these baka yaros? Besides wanting to bask in Riku's presence like the filthy normal you are."

"I... I don't remember..." Anna starts, thinking hard.

"You... don't... remember..." Ami starts, her eye twitching in disbelief, "How did you meet them?"

"I can't remember," Anna responds.

"What's your last name," Ami asks, redundant as it was due to her name-reading.

"I can't remember," Anna repeats, "What's wrong with me? Why can't I remember anything before my training?"

"Well, Miss Amnesiac," Ami starts, "You might be a normal, but you're a keyblade master and more than woman enough to open the cave. We're leaving."

"What?!" Anna shouts as Ami picks her up by the shoulder.

"So long, Riku-chan," Ami says, giving him the red eye and sticking her tongue out at him before she and Anna disappear in a black puff of smoke. Riku is just standing there in disbelief as Sora starts to get up.

"How much of that conversation was actually about her trying to kill me?" Sora asks, standing upright.

"Very little but... whoa," Riku says, stopping when he notices something.

"What, is there something on my face?" Sora asks, "Maybe I spilled something on... hey!" Sora notices that the Y chromosome seems to have abandoned ship.

"I hope the pinkish plants didn't do that," Riku says, staring at a rash on his hand, "I accidentally touched one earlier."

"Here, let me see that," Sora says, walking over to Riku. 'She' starts sniffling at the scent of something.

"What? Does it smell bad?" Riku asks.

"You smell like raspberries and pheromones," Sora states.

"Not leaving much to the imagination, are we, Sora?" Riku asks, rolling his eyes.

Um, guys?

"Oh, you're still alive," Riku responds.

Keep it rated PG.

"Oh, like our target audience knows what pheromones are," Sora says, cynically, "Anyway, why was Anna unable to remember anything?"

"You'd look good in a cut midriff shirt," Riku comments.

"Hey, answer the question," Sora says, looking indignant and slightly embarrassed.

"I gave her selective retrograde amnesia during the training," Riku starts, "She wasn't going to be of any use to us as a panicky little girl with a crush for a philanderer pirate. Her life was depressing, anyway, so I didn't delete anything important."

"I can't believe you did something like that," Sora says in a disbelieving tone of voice.

"I had the best intentions," Riku states, "I wanted to help you get past that phase you were in. Anna's life depressed me. It was a win-win scenario."

"That's so invasive of you, Riku," Sora starts, "You're so careless. You give away your keyblade to some psycho, then rewrite somebody else's brain just for me. You're despicable. You're rude. You're..." Sora looks away as she starts blushing, continuing in a soft tone of voice, "I can't stay mad at you. Not when I'm like this."

"You're right," Riku starts, also sounding embarrassed, "I always act so mean around you, but now, I can't help but feel... so... this is going to get us a PG-13 rating, isn't it?"

"At least," Sora responds.

"So, how do you think Kairi will take this?" Riku responds.

"Probably ecstatic that there's finally somebody she can go shopping with," Sora responds.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking," Riku says, "Well, now that we know that all the people we care about will be fine with this, shall we go home?"

"Wait, what about Anna?" Sora asks.

"She's a big girl," Riku responds, "She can handle herself."

"What if she can't?" Sora asks, "Ami can paralyze her with just a glance."

"Tell you what," Riku starts, "While I explain to Mickey that Ami stole my keyblade and kidnapped the new master of the keyblade that abandoned you, I'll tell him that they're heading to an island somewhere near Port Royal. He'll take care of it."

"Oh, yeah," Sora starts, "I forgot all about that."

"Well, shall we, my kanojo?" Riku states.

"Hey, don't start picking up habits from Ami," Sora responds.

"Sorry," Riku apologizes, pulling out the ship communicator, "Computer, two for recall." The two of them vanish in a flash of light.


	16. Plush 0 Stone Temple Pilots

**Epilogue:**

In a building about half a mile away from the apartment complex, a high powered night-vision telescope offers the only pinpoint of light in a 20th floor room. A figure behind it watches as two people vanish in a flash of light. A raspy breathing sound comes from somewhere else in the room.

"Welcome back, Ryuk," Light says, turning off the telescope, "What did you find out?"

"The Heartless had taken over the death note controller," Ryuk responds, "The council replaced him. Everything should be normal now."

"Thank you for being helpful for a change," Light says, walking to the wall switches, "The outsiders have left after killing every single one of the Heartless. I can no longer feel them clawing at my mind."

"I wonder what would have happened if they won," Ryuk muses, chuckling to himself.

"Everybody already doubts the validity of the monorail incident," Light says, flipping the switch and illuminating the room, "Without any physical evidence and only the low quality footage from across the river, this incident will be dismissed within a few weeks."

"So it's all over?" Ryuk starts.

"Not quite," Light responds, "For you see, I set something else up when Misa was 'kidnapped' earlier today..."


End file.
